embracing ennui

Blog Moved

2011-04-03T18:44:00.001-06:00

My personal blog has moved here: http://unwrittenodyssey.blogspot.com

Blog Consolodation

2010-06-27T22:52:00.002-06:00

So it appears that I haven't posted in a while. Although I love blogging, and I still do blog on myriad websites and blogs, this one has been far too neglected for far too long. If you would like to start following me, I decided to consolidate my 23 things blog, and this kind of blog, as well as other kinds of things I frequently think about here: http://larithelibrarian.blogspot.com/

This way, I am no longer struggling to keep multiple blogs up to date. I will pretty much post mostly at the above URL from now on...

Latest Pics of Evie

2010-05-10T22:16:00.002-06:00

Caught reading! Click below to see them big!

Evie and Her Tio

2010-04-17T18:06:00.000-06:00

Pictures of Princess Evie

2010-03-14T12:59:00.000-06:00

Jewelry Making

2010-01-13T11:06:00.004-07:00

For some reason, I decided to start building jewelry. This is the first necklace I have started making. I am concerned because I feel like I have no idea as to what I am doing. I would like to take some sort of jewelry making class, because I feel like I have two right hands (I'm left handed) when I'm attempting to do any of this stuff.

I went treasure hunting in Denton, but as a friend pointed out, going to junk stores has become sort of a "chic" thing to do. This makes me sad because that probably explains why all that "junk" is so darn expensive.

The chains and charms you see in the picture, I have all acquired from Michaels. I'm sad that I resorted to buying the charms from Michaels, as I want to make my own. But I sort of gave up and decided I wanted to build something right away.

So anyways, we were walking out in front of Target the other day, and Scott found this on the ground. I think it looks so cool. It reminds me of some sort of Atlantean civilization. So I'm definitely going to make something out of it. Because it's so brittle, I need to dip it in some sort of resin first.

Well, I'm excited to see if I can get the hang of this and make all sorts of pretty stuff real soon!

(By the way, if anyone I know is reading this, if you have any jewelry or metal "junk" lying around, I'll take it!)

Evie Rediscovered Snow

2010-01-09T00:09:00.000-07:00

Twitter Feed

2010-01-08T23:49:00.002-07:00

I have posted my twitter feed on the side of my blog... as I update that more than I do this thing. Ha.

But my new years resolution is to post more on here. So be prepared!

Christmas 2009

2010-01-08T23:34:00.005-07:00

Random Updates About Life

2009-12-28T21:29:00.003-07:00

Being a children's librarian apprentice, I have had the opportunity to work with the 23 Things project. I thought I would share my 23 Things blog with anyone who might be interested in seeing a method of learning about web 2.0 (and hearing some of my personal views about it as well).

Click here for my librarian blog!

I believe it may evolve to be more than a way to document the 23 Things project, but may be a professional outlet for me to write about the wonderful world of youth librarianship... but only time and attention spans will tell...

Oh and coming up I get to be the lead on a Presidents Day exhibit at the library, as well as Children's Book week exhibit! Cool, huh?

What an awesome job where I can share the love of learning and of knowledge with children in my community. I really feel like it is worthwhile on so many levels. I'm so glad that my husband supports me in this passion of mine, and visits me frequently at the library with our sweet daughter. Of course, I have always encouraged him in his pursuits in art as well.

Anyways, that is the latest that's going on in my awesome career.

Evie loves books and is constantly surrounded by them. Every day she learns and grows and I know she is one smart cookie!

She says, "Go?" a lot. It basically means, "Where did mom go?" or "Where did the doggy go?" or "Hey, dad just went out the front door and I don't know where he's going!" She is also the giver of so many sweet kisses. I love that little munchkin so much!

Once again, I will say that I love my life, my husband, and everything that I have. I was just thinking how amazing my husband is. He is so talented in every way. He fills my life with friendship, love and trust and I could never imagine my life without him. I always brag about how awesome he is to friends, coworkers, and family, and anyone who can't see his awesomeness is utterly insane.

He's been drawing and painting a lot lately, and started giving me art lessons. Which reminds me, I need to finish my first homework assignment!

By the way, we just got back from Utah for the holidays, and I got to hear from my sister in law Kiersten who is serving an LDS mission in Hungary. I know she reads this blog sometimes so I will try to update it more often for her. So be prepared for some more posts with pictures and such.

I love you Kiersten!

Oh and on some other random news, I think I am going to add a twitter widget to the side of this blog as well... It will help keep this thing updated more often as well. . .

Check out some pictures!!!!

2009-12-10T19:43:00.002-07:00

I am absolutely horrible at updating this thing. I update my facebook quite a bit though. Here is a link to the latest pictures of us getting ready for the holidays! Oh! And my hubby made our room look awesome! You have to see what he did to it!

Click here!

My Little Brother is Married!

2009-11-11T08:33:00.015-07:00

Check out these photos of my little brother's wedding reception in Pelotas Brazil! It was so great! And yes, my daughter is the baby in the onesie... I couldn't keep the dress on her all night, as it started way late. (In Brazil, parties typically start around 8:30 or 9 and go until the wee hours of the morning.) But to prove I did actually put a dress on her, here is a pic of her and me right after we got to the festa.

Take a good look because all the other pictures on the website are with her in pjs! hahaha

Anyways, last Wednesday, they got married civilly in the morning in Pelotas, got on a bus, got sealed in the Porto Alegre Temple in the afternoon, and then a couple of days later, they had an awesome party with a DJ and everything. (For those of you who are wondering, Brazil does not recognize any marriage performed by a religious institution including the LDS church, that's why my brother essentially got married "twice" in one day. Three times if you include the little wedding march they had at the reception! haha)

My Tia Nane (aunt) decorated the place and made all the bouqets and floral arrangements! She is amazing.
It was amazing; I haven't danced that long in forever!

I can't wait until Vanessa comes up to the states!
Te amo minha nova irma!

:)

Evie Gets Her Monkey

2009-09-10T17:54:00.003-06:00

So Evie got a new sock monkey from grandpa, and here is her reaction to it.

Gasp! A Feminist!

2009-08-20T17:47:00.008-06:00

I consider myself a feminist. Now now, I know some may immediately recoil at the word, but believe it or not, I actually wear bras, have been known to not leave the house without make up, and shave my legs. I look like any other typical woman, and enjoy looking "feminine."

How can this be? Quite simple really. I believe women deserve equal rights and respect when it comes to the work place and lifestyle they CHOOSE to live. What do I mean? Let me explain.

Women are damned if they do, and damned if they don't. I remember when I was a full time mommy and wife (just before and right after Evie was born), and I didn't have a "real" job, there were a few times where people would ask me "what I do." When I would say, I was a homemaker or stay at home mom, I would sometimes get this look of, oh, that's all you do? Sometimes I wanted to say, yes you douche. That's what I do. Got a problem with it? But that would be in my more vitriolic moods.

Now that I work, doing something I love by the way, I sometimes get the same vibe from people for working. I remember when we first moved into my ward, people would go up to me and ask what my husband does, or what my husband studied in school. Then they would move on to something else, it was as if, what I studied and what I did, was utterly not worth asking about (even if I did stay at home, I have something worth saying about myself!). This really bothered me, so immediately after telling them what my husband did, I would throw in the fact that I was applying to grad school and that I worked at the library. A lot of people would be like "oh cool!" and ask more questions about what I did, but sometimes (too often for my tastes) I would get this wide eyed look of but-the-woman's-place-is-in-the-home followed by an awkward vibe and strained conversation.

If a man is the one who leaves the home to support the family and get an education, no one EVER questions it. It's perfectly kosher. Although, there is some sexism men have to deal with if they choose to be stay-at-home dads. Or domestic dads, as I like to call Scott. Frankly, Scott is a much better "home maker" (although he hates it when I use that word) then I ever was or could be. The food he cooks is delicious, he's very attentive and caring with Evie, and he's really good at working on gardening and house projects, generally he's just better than home economics than I am, and he likes it where as for me it's a chore. (Although when it comes to deep cleaning, that's my specialty :) )

I don't understand the stigma that men can't be good nurturers.

So what we have really works for us. I go to work and get paid to have fun (I'm really not joking when I say I have the best job ever, I don't even like calling it a job), am going to school so I can advance in this career and make more money for us. And it works splendidly. I'm not saying it should work for everyone, because no one is the same. But this is what works for us. Frankly, I was not happy when I was at home all the time. I love working in libraries, and I did before Evie was born. After she was born, I tried the stay at home thing, and it didn't work for me. I've gotten some crap from people for choosing to work, but you know what? I'd rather have a happy stress free family, than one who is forced to be miserable by living up to some people's social and cultural expectations, no matter what they are.

UPDATE:

Scott says the word I should use is "domestic engineer" not "homemaker." Will do that from now on. :)

Another entry about whatever...

2009-06-30T21:59:00.004-06:00

Life has been so full lately. I feel like I’ve hit an enlightenment that was lacking in my life before. There are so many things I’ve discovered about myself in the past four years than I’ve ever known about myself in my whole life.

I know this sounds vague, but I would like to say how happy I am. I have a sweet little girl, who I think about every minute of every day, an amazing husband, and an awesome job. I also recently got a grant and a scholarship for school.

Go me.

And it really isn’t the recent bit of good luck that’s done it for me… I find I’m enjoying life more. I love my two-bedroom duplex. I don’t really care that it’s not brand new, or finely crafted, I just care that my two favorite people live here with me. That it’s a safe space for my loved ones and me. That we can spend time cuddling on the couch, reading a book, listening to the radio, or watching a movie. It truly is a sanctuary of peace, reason, and love. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

With each passing day I realize more and more how much I love the fact that I married my husband. He truly is my best friend and I love doing everything with him, from talking about deep universal subject matter to talking about how Subway is not “bland!” (which it isn’t, Scott just doesn’t know what’s worth ordering). I even love playing games with him, which is strange, because I’m extremely competitive, and he always beats me no matter what (except the first night we met, I beat him at Simpson’s Clue).

I feel like I’ve reached a pivotal point in my journey. There are choices I will make now that will affect me the rest of my life, for good or for worse. But I feel like I have a clear head now. All the right choices and answers have never been clearer. My mind has never been this free of confusion from contradictory thoughts.

In the fall I will be visiting family I haven’t seen in years. Most have not met my husband or my little one, and I’m excited to share my little family with them. My brother is getting married to a Brazilian girl he’s known since he was a kid, so we have a good excuse to finally make the trip down and see my family.

I can’t wait to visit my Tio Roger’s house most of all. There was something about his circular spectacles, twirled mustache, and bitter sweet smell of cigar smoke that always made me feel comfortable in his brightly painted home. Spending the summers in Pelotas was truly a highlight of my childhood, and I look forward to revisiting all those memories. I’m excited to walk to the praça, drink guarana and eat salgadinhos and doces at the doceria, to attend a real party for once (Brazilians know how to party), to laugh, sing songs, and tell stories with my family.

Life is good.

Dinosaur must face his greatest challenge yet...

2009-06-01T18:21:00.007-06:00

This is a really cute book I checked out from the library. The illustrations are a superb blend of digital collage and illustration, and the typography of the text (which is simply written, however powerfully cute) makes it impossible to read without unbridled enthusiasm. I've read it to Evie about 5 times now and she loves it every time.

Oh and here's a picture I took of her today trying her first Strawberries and Creme Frappuccino from Starbucks. She certainly is her mother's daughter. :)

Dinosaur vs. Frappuccino!

Dinosaur Wins!

Evie slept through the night! (Twice!)

2009-05-14T17:56:00.005-06:00

A glorious event has occurred, a blessed event that the seraphs will sing of for eons to come, and their songs will be sweet and beautiful.

.

.

.

EVIE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! Twice! I honestly don't know what happened. I hope this will be a regular thing from now on... Anyways, we've always fought with her to go to sleep. I even tried the whole "let her cry it out" thing but it didn't work. Actually, it kind of backfired on us because it made Evie even more hysterical when we put her in her crib, and she got so stressed that she actually would throw up all over herself if we did it. So we let her sleep with us for the past couple of months, and we tried the crib again the past couple of days, and voila!

Well, maybe not that simple. We have a singing frog that plays music and has a little light on it. We turn it on and let her be hypnotized by the light and music... She cries for a bit, but we say, "sh" and rub her back or belly for a few minutes, wait till she's calmed down a ton, and walk out of the room. She'll wimper for a few minutes, but then we go back in and repeat the process three or four times and usually by the fourth time she'll fall asleep. After that, she's quiet for a whole 8 hours! I can't believe it!

We're hoping it works again... as I type this Scott is trying to get her to calm down in her crib... but so far we haven't been able to. It's like 9.30, so it's kind of late... I hope it works again!

I got a new toof today! (Part 1 of the Lari Crown Saga)

2009-05-11T14:26:00.008-06:00

Warning: If the sound of nails scraping on a chalkboard makes you cringe, you probably don't want to read this entry.

All the nightmares I have about losing my teeth or having them fall apart in my mouth, came true about 3 weeks ago while eating some (might I say "very soft") eggs. The back of my crown just broke off into my mouth. For those of you who don't know, I broke my front tooth in half in the 5th grade. It was a humid but uncommonly cold day one Miami morning as I rode my bike to Claude Pepper Penitentiary, so I covered my frigid ears with my hands. I was used to riding my bike this way (I had done so many times before), so for me, it really was no big deal to try to briefly warm up my ears while riding sans manus. What I wasn't used to was a big rock lying right in the middle of the paved sidewalk. What I wasn't used to was hurtling through the air at an amazing speed. What I wasn't used to was landing front tooth first on the sidewalk.

I remember finding it odd that although my giant rodent-like tooth had broken clean in half, I could only find a few bits and pieces of it. It was pulverized, and the pavement pretty much sanded down my tooth the way a nail filer sands down a finger nail. I was rushed to the dentist by my frantic mother who continually said, "I told you, you should've listened when I said to wear that hoodie to school today." (To this day, she still reminds me my front tooth catastrophe is a result of my insubordination at the age of 10. Apparently, 14 years isn't enough time for my mom to just "let it go.") They repaired it that day by filling the missing half of my tooth. I remember how incredibly self conscious my "repaired" tooth made me feel. Imagine being a preteen, now imagine having one of your front teeth look like it was glued together, literally. There was this ever noticable line that went horizontally across the front of my tooth during my preteen years. A few years later, my mouth got really swollen, I started crying in pain, and before I knew it, I was in the dentist's office again, getting a root canal because my tooth was dying (yes, a tooth can die). This whole episode was worse than giving birth in my memory (pain wise). It was honestly the worst pain I have ever experienced. Now I'm not sure if this is because I was young and impressionable when I had it done, or because my anesthesiologist was doing a crappy job, or because my lips and gums had swelled up to the size of a Florida orange by the time I was getting the emergency root canal. I just know it hurt like a mother.

Flash forward a couple of years. I was in Idaho, getting a crown, and Dr. Dick (that is his real name, but it could be interpreted metaphorically well) was setting me up with a new crown for my smile. This was supposed to be the latest and greatest. I was to have a brand new, all porcelain tooth imported from Sweden. Little did I know we would go through what seemed like a thousand porcelain crowns. Every time a new one would come in, we'd try it on, the color would be really off, and we would have to start from scratch. This process went on for months. I would be examined by the lab technician who colored the teeth, by Dr. Dick himself, they would make a crown, and in the end when they tried it on would look really off. After being defeated numerous times, Dr. Dick told me that to have a good match, they needed to break down my other front tooth so I could have two identical crowns in the front. Even without my mother around, I was smart enough to say, "no way."

During this whole ordeal, I went through a series of temporaries, or plastic-like teeth to cover the stump in my mouth so I'm not walking around without a tooth before my crown comes in. One weekend, I was eating out at Olive Garden with my family when my temporary fell out into my pasta. I quickly covered my face which turned bright red, and I whispered frantically to my mom, "my tooth fell out!" My brother and my dad started laughing at me, which made me even more red, and I literally dragged my family out of the restaurant so I could hide in my room for the rest of the weekend until the clinic opened up again on Monday. Seriously, no 17 year old girl should go through this.

The incompetence of the doctor and his associates started building to a boiling point as everyone involved started getting frustrated. At one point the dental technician responsible for painting and baking my porcelain crown falsely accused me of trying to trick her by artifically whitening my teeth after she examined me for a color match. "She colors her teeth!" she yelled as she stormed out of Dr. Dick's office one day. "I refuse to do her crown anymore! She is whitening her teeth!" Dr. Dick then had to step in and basically create the crown himself after his lab associate had a mental melt-down in the clinic. After a couple unsuccessful attempts, he finally produced a crown with a similar color to my natural tooth. When it was finally cemented in however, there was a gap between the top of my crown and where my gum met my tooth, revealing a dark thin line of the ugly stump underneath. "The crown doesn't touch my gums," I said to Dr. Dick. He gave me a tired look and basically told me that the gum would heal, and come down on its own. Now I realize he told me this because he was trying to get rid of me.

It never did.

To be continued...

Actually, no, I haven't been killed in a grisly car accident.

2009-04-28T17:56:00.004-06:00

No, I'm not dead. I just haven't updated my blog in forever. So I thought I'd give a quick update.

Things have been so wonderful/crazy/amazing/stressful as of late. I'm currently enrolled in UNT's library and information science program, and the class I'm in has been keeping me extremely busy as I've been working on this project called the Information Organization Project or IOP. Work has also been keeping me busy, and I also feel I should reitterate the fact that I have a 14 month old little girl.

But here's the big NEWS:

About a little over a week ago, I was promoted to a youth services library assistant! I LOVE MY NEW JOB WITH A PASSION OF A THOUSAND SUNS! It's literally the coolest job on the planet, although I'm still technically on my "honeymoon." :)

I have the wonderful opportunity to work on youth programs for the community, the Lone Star Storytelling Festival, and I get to be a part of a team of the most awesome group of people I have ever had the pleasure of working with. I seriously get paid to have fun, and to do what I love. Yeah, so I'm gonna brag about my awesome ~~job~~ career, lifestyle, whatever you want to call it; it's the best!

I have found my calling in life. I know without a shadow of a doubt I was made for this career. I get to play and read stories to children, I get to read comic books, and I've even been asked to write some articles for the city newsletter and storyteller bios for the festival! How cool is that?!

Going into the job application process for this position, I had told myself that I would be fine if I didn't get this promotion, that it would be OK and that another opportunity would present itself, but that's only because I had no idea how awesome this job actually is.

Seriously, librarians rock.

Franken-Milk

2009-03-28T20:54:00.004-06:00

I've heard a lot, here and there, about hormones and cows and how the two aren't the best combination for creating healthy milk (I personally prefer a small cow pus to milk ratio). The following isn't the only source that illustrates the problems with treating dairy cows with BST and/or rBGH, but I thought it was an enlightening little clip taken from the film the Corporation.

It also features everyone's favorite evil corporation, Monsanto.

Web Cam

2009-03-27T15:47:00.004-06:00

We got a new webcam... which will hopefully make video conferencing way better considering the one we had before was about 10 years old and you could barely make out people forms on one end.

Here is a video I filmed of Evie doing the Eentsy Weentsy Spider Song.

Cousins are Fun

2009-02-16T19:59:00.005-07:00

Evie loves other little kids, even when they may take a toy she's holding :) . She's always amazed when she sees other babies at the store or in church, and she's quite the social butterfly as well.

Evie Walks!

2009-02-16T09:48:00.002-07:00

Rainbows and Babies

2009-02-01T13:57:00.001-07:00

Yeah... I pretty much have the cutest baby on the planet.

Extras

2009-01-05T20:42:00.009-07:00

So I've been watching the comedy Extras by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, and I have to say, I'm a fan.

Every episode centers around Andy (Gervais) and his friend Maggie, their struggling through jobs as extras, and the extremely awkward (and sometimes inappropriate) encounters with famous people and fellow extras. The following is a clip from the second season with David Bowie, who sings about Gervais' character ultimately selling out for a sitcom on the BBC.

The thing I love most about the show, is that every episode features a famous guest star that plays him or herself, but each one exhibits an extreme character flaw (narcissist here, megalomaniacal jerk there...) that just puts the show over the top for me.

Of course anyone, who enjoyed BBC's the Office, would most certainly enjoy more of Gervais' dead pan, foot-in-the-mouth humor.

Some Christmas Pictures!

2009-01-03T13:50:00.008-07:00

We also took a lot of video... but it will take me some time to upload it all... however, I thought I'd update with a few pictures...

At Christmas Eve Dinner with vóvó e vôvô.

She loved her toy from Santa. She crawled right up to it and started playing with it immediately on Christmas morning.

Here she is opening presents with Daddy...

Guess what Scott got...

Christmas can be tiring... especially if it's your first...

Scaring the Children into Enjoying Christmas

2008-12-09T22:47:00.007-07:00

Of course, when asked to provide a sweet Victorian-esque Christmas illustration for the museum, I had no idea I would eventually be perpetuating the image of a skull throughout the city library and city building. At least, that's what I've come to conclude after a library comrade of mine approached me today, grinning from ear to ear as he asked me if I had chosen the picture with the subliminal "skull" on purpose. Apparently, my affinity for the macabre has some deep roots in my psyche, and I can't seem to avoid dark, Poeish themes throughout my day to day, jolly, Christmas image finding routine...

Anyways, so a couple weeks ago, I had done a google image search, and after browsing numerous web pages and blogs for about an hour, I thought I had found a few images that would be P.C. as well as classy to go on advertisements for the city museum's Victorian Christmas theme.

You see, there is a special little "Christmas at the Museum Family Day" where parents can bring their children to meet Mr. and Mrs. Clause, as well as participate in some arts and crafts in the City's Heritage museum... Well this image was used on all the fliers to advertise the event... including a small one I handed out to each patron as they checked out materials from the library today.

At first, it was hard for me to see the skull, my coworker had to explain that the front of the sled was the mouth, and that the skull seemed to be looking to the viewer's left (with one child as one eye and the patch of grass between the tree and the yellow scarf as the other). But after a little while (and staring at the image from about 10 feet away), the image sort of "clicked" and all I could see was the skull...

So, today, every time I passed a reference desk to shelve books, it seemed as if I was being watched by this skull, which inadvertently was placed there by myself.

By the way, if anyone is able to tell me who on earth was the original illustrator of this, as well as what it's called, it would be greatly appreciated that they leave a comment with the information...

And that is how I was able to turn a seemingly benign albeit "sweet" assignment into something spooky.

Huzzah!

President Obama!

2008-11-04T22:21:00.004-07:00

This has been an amazing night. I'm so happy that Senator Obama is now, President-Elect Obama!

I've always liked Obama since the Audacity of Hope first came out (a great book I might say). And although I have disagreed with some of his politics, I always thought he was a great person of a sound mind, and an inspiring leader.

I'm so glad he got my vote.

PS- Senator Obama, best of luck with the wrecked car in a ditch that is America, hopefully you can pull us out of this mess.

I found a really funny, cute, adorable, sweet video.

2008-10-25T20:37:00.003-06:00

I recently found the following video on my husband's camera. Apparently, baby and daddy have lots of fun while mom's at work.

Evie... another month in progress!

2008-10-20T12:03:00.007-06:00

(Hanging out with mom in front of the library.)

I can't believe it, but Evie is now 8 months old...

It seems like just yesterday that we first started letting her play on the clothesline....

And now that she's a big girl... she gets to do it all by herself.

That's right... no more coddling young lady... you're a big girl now.

(Here she is, sitting with daddy on our back porch.)

The only problem now, however, with having an 8 month old baby at church, is discovering the fact that Evie no longer wants to sit in mommy's lap and be a quiet little girl. She wants to play, with everything: with hymn books, with toys, with mommy's phone, with mommy's keys, with the other baby's toys, and the other baby's shoes, with chairs, with drawers, with cabinets, etc.

She discovered she can pull herself up to a standing position. She will even crawl up to me and pull herself up using my legs for support. Today, she even let go and stood by herself for a brief second before tumbling to the ground.

Speaking of which... She doesn't seem to understand the concept of gravity... and will crawl right off a bed if she is given the opportunity.

She also loves getting into everything that she is not supposed to; it seems that her toys are boring, but plugs, sockets and crawling behind furniture is lots of fun.

And hey, if mommy's holding it, then she needs to hold it... and put it in her mouth.

Printing Press Girl (as one museum volunteer so sweetly calls me)

2008-10-12T20:59:00.006-06:00

So I have a new job (well not really). I'm still working as a Library Technician, but I also volunteered to work at the city museum and do printing press demonstrations for school tours. I know I sound nerdy, but it was a lot of fun to learn about how they used to make newspapers, pamphlets, etc. in old timey times. It was a lot of work and the ink literally gets everywhere!

In this picture I'm standing between two old printing presses. (If you click on the picture you can see them in better detail.) I have an old Chandler and Price to my right (the viewer's left). It was made around 1906 and would do print jobs that didn't exceed anything bigger than a 6" by 10". On my left (viewer's right), is a Kelsey press (circa 1960). I demonstrate how both presses work, but the one that actually can produce a product right now is the Kelsey printer.

So yeah, I get to help third graders recreate life in an old printing press workshop by helping them press a nice little message on a 1960s Kelsey press... and I get paid for it.

One word:

Awesome

Born in the USA

2008-09-24T08:22:00.007-06:00

There is a new movie coming out along the lines of the Business of Being Born (a film we watched thanks to the magic of Netflix's instant plays) that's about the business side of birth in America, you can view a trailer for it here at Doreen's blog. It's called Pregnant in America and I cannot wait to see it. Thanks for the post, Doreen!

I also happened to come across this Monty Python video, which illustrates (quite comically) the miracle of birth in an industrialized nation where medical interventions are the norm.

Evie: 7 Months Old

2008-09-23T19:16:00.004-06:00

Some pictures...

Evie celebrated her 7 month birthday on International Talk Like a Pirate Day.... Gyahr!

Double the Cuteness (Double the Fun!)

2008-09-13T09:05:00.003-06:00

This is a video taken of Evie playing with her reflection today... It just oozes with the cuteness.

Hurricane Ike and Much Needed Updates

2008-09-13T08:15:00.004-06:00

It's cloudy outside and dark.

Ike is at our doorstep, but we're not sure if the center of the storm will pass over us or not.

I really hope we get some rain, and I wouldn't mind the storm passing right over us, because we're so far inland, it will bring more rain than damage (knocks on wood).

I love days like this. It's a great day to just curl up and read a book (cliche I know, but still awesome and relevant).

So many new updates I need to post, so little time.

1. We moved to a new cute little duplex.

2. I have a new job at a local public library.

3. Evie crawls like mad.

And many more exciting things that I need to write about.... It's almost overwhelming.

Half Birthday (6 Months Today!)

2008-08-19T19:14:00.011-06:00

The momentous occasion of which was celebrated by pushing my little one in a plastic chair, and watching her squeal in glee as the inertia of her travel through the air tickled her wee tummy...

By the way, he disembodied legs swaying lackadaisically on the left are my dear husband's.

Farmers Branch, TX

2008-08-13T19:51:00.013-06:00

Can anyone who reads this tell me what they know or think about Farmers Branch, Texas? It is quite possible that my husband and I might move there... after doing some preliminary research however, I'm concerned that the town is generally xenophobic, because the only articles I pull up about the town are about how they want to get rid of any undocumented people by making nosey laws to make sure landlords don't rent to them (as a Libertarian, this totally rubs me the wrong way). And I also read that they made a city ordinance that decreed English as the "official" language of the city (rolls eyes and bangs head on keyboard), making it against the law for city institutions to provide pamphlets or information to residents in any language other than English.

Other than the fact that I think the residents of the city have concerned themselves with ridiculous issues and unnecessary legislation, Farmers Branch seems to be a nice looking little town with some new urbanism and energy saving projects in development... But I have yet to see the town in person.

The main issue here, however, is this: I'm worried about my family moving to a place with strong racism or racially charged sentiment. Is there any truth to these concerns of mine? Or am I worried about nothing?

But as of right now, my impression of the town can be summed up with the following:

New Addition to the Family

2008-08-01T14:18:00.006-06:00

I'm announcing the newest addition to our ever growing family...

Meet this lovely young canure. It was born this past February 14th. It's only 5 days younger than Evie.

A couple of weeks ago, my mom met this little guy (gal?) at the pet store when she was buying some items for the dogs, and she fell in love immediately.

She told my dad about it, and today, he surprised her by bringing him (her?) home!

Evie loves this bird. Amie (dog) is intimidated by it... and I have a not so good feeling that Pepper (dog) wants to eat it. :(

We still don't have a name for it and all of us are throwing names around to see if one will stick.

I am really hoping that this bird will take the Tatu's (turtle) place near the breakfast table. All he does is sit around looking like a rock, and he hisses if you get too close to his cage. The jerk...

Stormy Evening

2008-07-30T20:56:00.003-06:00

It rained today. Finally.
Evie was thrilled to see the water coming from the sky, and as it splashed on her little legs and face, she kicked and laughed. When lightning struck nearby, her eyes went wide, and pouted her lower lip.
Everything turned green, and the sky was all manner of colors; blues, greens, reds, yellows. It was beautiful.
Scott loves being outside. And when it's not too hot, I love being out there with him.
The soil here is thick, and beneath the surface of the ground, clay composes most of the earth here. So, Scott decided to make some clay pottery. His fascination with the raw material made me smile.
We live in such a beautiful world.

Hypnobirthing: Approaching natural birth with confidence, calm, and wisdom.

2008-07-30T14:26:00.018-06:00

I met a fellow mother through a facebook group on hypnobirthing a while back. She was pregnant for the first time and had been interested in ways of having a natural birth. Well, she just had her baby and has an AMAZING story; I thought I'd share the link to it here. It literally gave me goosebumps as I read it, and it reconfirms my strong belief in hypnobirthing.

After my experience, and reading and hearing many stories on hypnobirthing experiences, it has even caused me to think about becoming a certified hypnobirthing instructor (not now, but maybe in a few years). When the method is followed and practiced, Hypnobirthing works. And whether a mother is planning on a natural or drug assisted birth, the hypnobirthing method can be helpful to pursuing the kind of birth experience she wants.

The common attribute I have found among fellow hypnobirthing mothers is this: they had and have a positive attitude about giving birth. They knew their bodies were designed to give birth, and they had learned to ignore all the horror stories that had been fed to them by society, culture, and even by well meaning doctors and relatives. They had practiced their relaxation scripts, and had learned to surround themselves with positive birth stories.

Recently, I had a conversation with a fellow mother in the mother's room at church. She told me about her labor and delivery, and how she wasn't allowed to eat, and how she was constantly being pressured to have a c-section because her labor wasn't "progressing" fast enough (she had a 21 hour labor), and to add even more pressure to her, they told her that she was most likely too small to give birth vaginally. Luckily, she had the strength to stand up for herself in the hospital and say no to the doctors and nurses who kept looking at the clock impatiently, and suggesting that she have major abdominal surgery just because she wasn't having her baby as fast as they would've liked.

A woman in labor shouldn't have to be fighting doctors and nurses for the birth experience she wants. This is why I strongly suggest to any pregnant mother that she shop for the right doctor or midwife and hospital, before she goes into labor, preferably, at the beginning of her pregnancy. That way, when the time comes, she will be surrounded by people who support her, not people who doubt her capacity to give birth the way she feels best.

I also don't believe that every birth can be planned out to a T. In fact, my birth experience didn't go quite the way I had planned. I had a 41 hour labor (who wants that?), and I did have to have a drug to help me sleep half way through. But even with the unforeseen circumstances, one of which was a posterior baby, I was still able to have an experience that was positive, and I was able to make decisions during my labor, that I do not regret.

I believe that what isn't broken, shouldn't be "fixed." This philosophy in application during childbirth holds the least risk for BOTH mother and baby in a normal, healthy pregnancy. But sometimes, medical intervention is necessary, and sometimes should be suggested by medical personnel, but it should be the exception, not the rule. When looking for the right clinic, midwife, or practitioner, a mother should ask what the cesarean rate is, or if they perform routine episiotimes. One of the reasons I chose the nurse midwives was because their cesarean rate was only 5% as opposed to a national average of 30%. The thing that makes me upset is that doctors don't always explain the risks of interventions (epidurals, pit, induction, etc.) to new mothers, and this unfortunately can lead them to learn the risks the hard way.

Hypnobirthing isn't a simple solution either. It takes work. I practiced for months beforehand, and studied and read, and lived a lifestyle that was good for me and my baby in preparation for a calm birth; with that said, it wasn't difficult for me to accomplish all this either (after I attended all my classes, I literally practiced hypnobirthing for at most 20 to 30 minutes a day during my second and third trimester). Giving birth empowered me, and hypnobirthing was a tool that helped me do just that.

Post Script: I hope no one thinks I'm trying to brag about the way I chose to have my baby, I'm only sharing my (slightly passionate) feelings that women should give birth the way they want, and to do that, they should do research before hand on different birthing methods. I had such a great experience and I want others to have positive experiences as well. Hypnobirthing worked wonders for me, which is why I'm a strong advocate of it. But if others have other ways of having positive birth experiences, experiences that they are happy about and that they would do over again, then more power to them. This is more to help those who are trying to shop for the birth they want, and to let others, who haven't had these experiences, know that there is a positive way to approach birth.

Evie's Excessive Cuteness

2008-07-30T13:09:00.007-06:00

She's learning and growing every day. Her beautiful eyes observe, watch and widen in awe every time she learns something new, which is all the time.
She's also developed this cute new habit of trying to type on my keyboard every time I have her on my lap at the computer. Today, she pulled the whole thing towards her (rather violently) and then opened and closed her fingers (rather delicately) as she pushed and felt the keys beneath them.
She has also discovered her feet in the past few weeks, and has them constantly in her mouth.
My little one has also discovered the properties of conversation, and sometimes pursues such activities with a series of "Aaooohs," and "Gehs!" It can even become incessant.

I know I'm her mother, so I'm biased, but I just can't help thinking that she is the smartest little baby ever. She knows what she likes when she likes it and how she likes it. If I take away a book or toy she's chewing on or playing with, she'll object with a whine, or if she's tired a wail. I can't believe she just turned 5 months old!

A couple of days ago, we had a hilarious incident on the sofa. I had given her a bottle of water, because she had become quite adept at placing bottles in her mouth, however, she seemed to have forgotten which end of the bottle went in her mouth, and kept trying to take her bottle in the most untraditional ways. This of course left me thoroughly entertained for the next few minutes, and I was able to get a snippet of the action on my camera phone.

Notice how Evie sees me laughing... She joins in, probably oblivious as to what got me to laugh in the first place.

Houses are fun to look at...

2008-07-27T15:03:00.014-06:00

So I have been obsessed with looking at houses around here lately. I have been blown away at how inexpensive it is to buy a house around here, and I'm not talking about buying a house in a bad neighborhood, I'm talking about nice, quiet neighborhoods with friendly people.

For instance, we could buy a nice, nearby 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house and we would only pay about $605 (including mortgage, tax, insurance, etc.) a month if we make a 10% down payment... I've seen even better deals in better locations for this much as well...

I've been looking at a lot of areas around here. Sherman, TX seems like a nice little town, and we were going to go up and visit it sometime soon to check it out in person. I fell in love with this little, renovated Victorian home that is up for sale in Sherman. Go here to look at pictures of the interior.

This home is slightly out out of our affordability range (especially since we want to buy a house by mid December to January) but I just thought that it was such a great deal and so darling that I had to mention it! It would be $1348 a month (mortgage, taxes, insurance, etc.) with a 10% down payment.

But, I'm not worried about not being able to afford this house. After all, what I've mentioned here doesn't even come close to some of the great affordable real estate and homes I've seen around here. And since Scott does freelance work, we can live anywhere we want.

We'd like to move near an old downtown (McKinney seems promising), where everything is close and I could walk to do my shopping. We don't want to live somewhere where we would have to drive a lot. In fact, if we could get away from driving at all (except in the rare events of going to the airport, hospital, etc.) then that's where we would like to live.

Frisco Square (Another Picture Entry)

2008-07-23T11:16:00.007-06:00

Trip to the Dallas Museum of Natural History 7/19/08

2008-07-22T13:18:00.017-06:00

Family

2008-07-22T13:15:00.005-06:00

Things have been so unsteady lately, so unsure.
The one thing I can always count on, is my little family. They are my world. I am so enamored with them. My husband lights up my life, and my baby girl makes me laugh no matter what my mood is.
I'm happiest when I'm with them both.

I feel lucky my life has led me to this moment. I'm so happy I got married when I did. I'm so happy I had my baby when I did.

I have no regrets.

Things are going to be okay.

Evie... sit! Good girl! Now here's your treat...

2008-07-21T16:11:00.010-06:00

My little one celebrated her 5 month birthday by perfecting the art of sitting.

Since this is neither walking nor talking, I'm still in the green zone.

And to top it all off, she has started eating solids! Ah... I love the act of eating in its purest of forms; there is a certain lack of propriety and patience in it, with the mouth and tummy dictating all choices made by the one who possesses them.

Speaking of which, why is it that some of the frilliest and cutest things, I have ever seen in the realm of baby accessories, comes in the form of a bib? I mean, shouldn't it, if it has to bear a pattern of some kind, simply inform the new parent that the "mess goes here." It's almost like putting lace on the brush of a chimney sweep, or painting a cute little design on the rubber part a plunger. The item is here to do a messy job; let's not church it up.

Here is a picture of her before her meal:

And, then tada! Food's been obliterated! And so has the bib!

Evie's First Pool Day

2008-07-09T19:40:00.005-06:00

Today, my little one had her first fun day in the pool. The device you see her in is a little baby raft in the shape of a hippo. She loved kicking her little growing legs in the water, and relaxing in her water toy... in fact, she relaxed so much that she fell asleep in it.

I love this baby. She makes me laugh every day.

Hairy Issues

2008-07-09T19:03:00.005-06:00

Some of you who read this may or may have not noticed that I recently got an ever-so-needed haircut. The last time I had the pleasure of visiting a hair salon, my little girl was just a bun in the oven. The nice, young, somewhat feminine (although this may just have been a cultural thing because he was from a certain Asian country) man, who cut my hair this time, was very meticulous and spent at least an hour to cut and style my hair. After he blew dry and cut my hair, he literally sculpted the shape of my overall style with a razor. It was so great. I never would've thought as I walked into that little, shabby looking hair salon next to the local grocery store, that I would walk out with one of the best hair cuts I have ever had in a long, long time. My mom and I talked thoroughly about this, and we decided that perhaps the reason we have had so much bad luck with our previous hair salon stylists, is that we had been going to the wrong type of salons. The salons with the cute, petite, recently graduated, hair stylists, all touting the generic, bleached, Pomeranian butt hairdo seemed to be extremely keen on replicating these dos on their clients as well as their colleagues, but when it came to cutting hair any other way (as in a not butchering the hair completely to give it an oh-so "trendy" look), they were at the very best out of their element, or at worst utterly clueless. And in the past, after visiting such establishments, I would always leave somewhat dissatisfied, and would struggle with my hair the following week, spending hours with diffusers, different size hairbrushes, hair spray, mouse, gel, etc., until finally giving up and deciding, much to my chagrin, to let my hair fall where it may.

This new cut has allowed me to let my hair fall where it may from day one, not because it's hopeless, but because it doesn't need help to look decent. Apart from blow drying it with a curling brush when I get out of the shower, I spend virtually no time messing with my hair now. No clips, spray, gel, pins, curling irons, nothing. I can wear my hair down, and not feel compelled to pin it up. Next time when I get my hair cut again, I'm going back to the quaint little salon by the grocery store, where I know can get an awesome haircut for an awesome price.

Happy Independence Day!

2008-07-04T23:59:00.000-06:00

Scott's Website

2008-07-01T17:45:00.005-06:00

I'm building Scott a website for his mural painting business... It's not finished, but you can view what I have done so far here: www.mscottsart.com

Wish him luck!

(Any tips or suggestions would be appreciated!)

Elder Estes is home!

2008-06-29T13:51:00.013-06:00

So after two years of working hard and serving the Lord, my little bro is finally home! Huzzah!
And I was fortunate enough to film him walking down the terminal.

The reason he looks like he has glue sticking his teeth together is because I made an embarrasingly large, cheesy, "Welcome Home Elder Estes!" banner, complete with little drawings of CTR rings and scriptures and other miscellaneous knick knacks, that I had taped to the window in the baggage claim area that faced the terminal.

Poor guy... when he left on his mission, Scott and I were only dating... We were not even engaged. Now instead of coming home to a mom, dad, and a sister, he comes home to all of those plus a niece and a brother-in-law. ha

The first time he held my little one, his arms bunched up and he looked sort of like a praying mantis trying to hold up a small stone... it was as if he didn't know what to do. Maybe he thought Evie was made of glass or something... but after a little while, he loosened up.

After the hugs, and "hellos," it was time to roll up Mano's huge sign, and come home.

It's a full house over here.

Embracing Ennui . . . in Texas

2008-06-12T16:12:00.010-06:00

Ah... the wonderful paradise that is limbo, where uncertainty is most assuredly certain... Unfortunately for my little family, Scott has yet to find a paying job, and so, serendipitously enough, we are currently living with my parents...

My wonderful artist of a husband has started on a little project in my parents' living room... he mentioned a stone faux finish would do nicely in the main area of the house, and my mother most enthusiastically agreed. He has done more work on it since the following picture was taken, but I believe it shows the essence of the gorgeous mural it will most undoubtedly become.

Our status of unemployment has been thus far rather indifferent to us... and we are able to enjoy a semi-normal and quality life. . . And nothing says "quality life" like a true Brazilian hammock... which is more comfortable and versatile than those flat American hammocks with the bars on either end that keep it straight, flat, and hard.

So we have been enjoying the hammock, the (surprisingly) decent weather, and my mother's 101 Yorkshire Terriers... Okay, not 101, but close to that... Anyways... my mother, in preparation for our impending co-habitation, banished the dogs to the garage (which is air conditioned by the way). They have since learned to be dogs and have stopped believing that they were entitled to being indoors all the time... My mother has also stopped considering them her children (well, almost).

By the way... meet Zak... He's adorable, he's sweet, and he needs a home, pronto. If my parents don't find a buyer soon, I'll probably scream and cry when they eventually do get a buyer.

Scott also had his wish granted and was able to plant a little garden this year...

We both would like to live mostly off our own land in the future, so this is good practice for him until then... As for me, I've been taking care of my little one, studying beginning physics (I decided I want to go back to school and study astronomy) using a few books I checked out from the library, and chewing my nails... a habit which tends to resurface every so often... especially if I'm thinking a lot. . . and lately. . . thinking has become a hobby of mine.

New Phone

2008-06-12T14:45:00.001-06:00

So.... I got a new phone, and I am actually able to update my blog with it... amazing no?

Eentsy Weenie Teenie Weenie Baby in a Blue Bikini, That She Wore for the First Time Today

2008-06-10T15:50:00.004-06:00

Evie's enjoying the nice Texas weather and lounging in the backyard...
Frankly, I don't think babies even need anything at the pool but a water-proof diaper, but this bathing suit is just so dang cute on her, I couldn't resist taking pictures of her in it. . .
Maybe when we actually go swimming, however, I'll just have her in the bathing suit bottom and hat.

She also loved the sunglasses. When I put them on her, she started giggling and laughing (though just like the angel she is she refused to smile when I got the camera out).

Thumb Sucker!!!

2008-05-09T16:54:00.005-06:00

Evie has recently discovered her hands, and more recently, discovered her thumb. She has become quite the thumb sucker. She used to love her pacifier, but ever since she discovered her tasty digits, she has chosen them over artificial nipples. Frankly, that's fine with me, because I'd rather let her soothe herself without me having to do it.

I'm so glad she figured this out. It was so funny, when she first discovered she had control over her hands, to see her try and shove her whole fist in her mouth. I didn't realize her mouth could stretch so much, and she would always end up frustrated and get fussy when she realize she couldn't suck efficiently on her entire fist. But when she found her thumb, she found heaven.

We're moving.

2008-05-09T15:49:00.004-06:00

So big news... Our little family is moving to Texas at the end of the month. After much prayer, consideration, and discussion, we decided it would be the best thing for us. Cost of living is a lot lower down there, and Scott will have more opportunities to find a job. The internship he was hoping for in Salt Lake, doesn't look like it's going to happen. Oh well, whatever happens, happens. I know that we'll be fine.

Frankly, I'm so excited to move out of Utah. It has been really hard for me here. I'm the kind of Mormon that needs to be in the minority, a missionary Mormon, not a Zion's Mormon.

In my case, going to BYU really hurt my spirituality. Does that sound strange?

FOX News Website on "Alien Trash"

2008-05-07T12:12:00.004-06:00

I couldn't help noticing Fox's main headline on their website this morning. At first, I just dropped my jaw and thought that they had finally done it, and said what they were thinking all along about illegal immigrants by calling them "Alien Trash." And then after reviewing the article, I realized that what they "meant" by "Alien Trash" was the debris of clothes and possessions left behind by undocumented families crossing the border. Could my initial reaction be accidental on my part? Or did this news media giant use their skills in juxtaposition of words and images to try to illicit xenophobic feelings from the general public?

Yes there is a problem with immigration, yes it needs to be fixed, and yes I don't know how to fix it, but I don't believe it will be fixed by viewing undocumented immigrants as sub-human or criminals. These are real people with real families and real problems. All I can say is that I am lucky and blessed to be born into a family and country that has been able to provide me a decent start in life, not everyone is that lucky.

Diaper Troubles

2008-05-05T18:07:00.004-06:00

Yesterday was just like any other Sunday... Scott and I went to church, had a nice Sunday nap, and then headed over to Grandma and Grandpa's house. Everything was peachy, until, we realized we had forgot to restock Evie's diaper bag. And unfortunately for us, there was a poosplosion in her diaper. . .

I asked grandma if she had any extra diapers, she laughed and said no. I started to get frantic; Evie was screaming her head off because she was sitting in a very full diaper and not getting changed. So, it was decided that we would put a cloth diaper on her. We normally carry around cloth diapers, but we've solely used them as burping cloths. I didn't know the first thing about folding a cloth diaper, so I ran to the basement to research the art of cloth diaper folding while Scott took care of our screaming baby.

I finally came across this site. And it even had a nifty little .gif image to help me out:

Quickly, I ran back upstairs to address the diaperless baby situation, and found my little one just chilling in her birthday suit on the plastic diaper changing pad while daddy watched her. I started to get excited about the whole cloth diaper thing... and even though we only had one, I figured we would be home in less than an hour and I could quickly change her into a pampers and avoid dealing with a pooey cloth diaper. Sadly, after much effort pinning the diaper to her, she proceeded to IMMEDIATELY wet herself. I couldn't pick her up without feeling her warm pee seep into my shirt. . . And there was no way she could just go home in a sopping wet diaper, I mean what would happen to the car seat?

The solution: Plastic Bag

Scott tore open a plastic bag, and we scotch taped it around little Evie's already soiled cloth diaper. Yeah, it wasn't clean, but at least it wouldn't get her clothes and the car seat wet. We quickly said our farewells to Grandma and Grandpa, and headed home as fast as we could.

Evie cried a lot on the way home, and I felt bad for her sitting in her wet cloth/plastic baggy diaper. But there was little else we could've really done.

This was taken after we got home. As you can see, my husband and I are real experts in creating makeshift diapers.

Evie was so upset, and daddy was having a hard time getting the diaper off. For one, the pins were small and hard to open, and secondly, he had to pull out a pair of scissors and essentially cut the diaper off of our screaming baby because the scotch tape did such a good job at holding the plastic baggy/cloth diaper together.

We are such great parents.

ha

My baby's a communist.

2008-05-05T18:06:00.001-06:00

Light Saber

2008-04-30T14:11:00.004-06:00

So I just found this old video of my little brother and it made me laugh a lot. He made this a few years ago, and he's on his mission now. I assume he's about 17 in this video. I miss him. We had so much fun together growing up. I remember when our parents would go out of town, how we would find ways to entertain ourselves, we'd do everything from renting a dollar movie at Super 1, to exploring the forest behind our house in Idaho, to endless hours of world domination in a networked game of Age of Empires II.

He'll be back from L.A. this summer.

Scott's Graduation Pictures

2008-04-30T12:58:00.007-06:00

Scott's parents just sent me pictures from his graduation. Here is a pic of him and our baby in front of his art show:

I'm so proud of Scott! I just know that he'll go far... Make sure to look at his art blog here.

Here is a picture of us outside of the HFAC where he walked:

Little Evie thought she'd grab the envelope while she could. Too bad she'll have to wait a few more years before she can get her own!

Pictures

2008-04-28T10:32:00.019-06:00

This is the only way I can get my baby to sleep... The stinker!!!

Here is a pic of my little one and her second cousin. This was taken at a family barbecue at our aunt and uncle's house.

My hubby and my baby have been keeping me in line for the most part. Here are some pictures that were taken yesterday at Great Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Roller Coaster

2008-04-28T10:07:00.003-06:00

My hubby finally walked. It's exciting that now he's officially done with school. We're really hoping he finds a job soon. My emotions have been running crazy lately. I feel like I'm bi-polar, because one minute I feel really depressed like the world is going to end, and the next minute I'm really hyper and euphoric. So I've been feeling a lot like this as of late:

Obama is Rocky

2008-04-24T11:05:00.003-06:00

I just watched this... and it brought a smile to my face.

Blah

2008-04-24T10:33:00.004-06:00

I'm feeling so odd today. I just can't stand to walk on eggshells anymore. I probably will continue to do so, but I am so tired of acting like I don't notice when certain someones are being rude to me. . . when they're consciously trying to be rude to me.

I'm just in a rotten mood I guess. I'm not looking forward to today. I have to pretend to be happy. I have to pretend everything is okay, when it's not. Being optimistic is such hard work, and I think I'm finally giving into pessimism. Yes, I know it's not right. I know that I'm just feeling sorry for myself; I know I'm being unrighteous in doing so... but I'm beat. I'm so tired of putting on a visage of contentment.

I'm giving in to my self pity, for once.

Walks

2008-04-17T18:41:00.007-06:00

We went on a walk today with our little one. She loves looking at the world around her. Unfortunately, she loves her little carrier so much she falls asleep in it, and so we have to hold her little head up when she does. I can't wait to get a stroller...

Battlestar, Kids, and Life...

2008-04-17T13:19:00.008-06:00

Scott just finished his last classes this week. It's weird, I feel like we've just jumped off the edge of a precipice, and now we're waiting to see where we'll land. Nothing is concrete. Scott still doesn't have any job offers, and we're wondering where we're going to be in the next month...
On the other hand, my little one is growing and changing every day.

Scott and I are also huge nerds. We're hopelessley addicted to Battlestar Galactica (thanks to the wonders of Netflix, we started watching the show from the miniseries to season 2.5). I love the show. And for some reason, my favorite character is Dr. Gaius Baltar and the Cylon in his head. An interesting thing, that I absolutely love about the show is the fact that the Cylons are surprisingly religious. They are very concerned with God, religion, and a twisted form of ethics. In fact, sometimes they seem more faithful and less blasphemous then humans. One even went as far as to say humans were idolaters because they worship multiple deities and not the one true God. Anyways, throughout the show, the lines between humanity and A.I. become blurred, and it's not always clear who the "good guys" are. Here is a typical conversation between Gaius and Cylon Number 6. I just love philosophic conversations on God and cosmology. Maybe this is why these are my favorite characters, they're fun to watch and listen to...

The Case Against Circumcision

2008-04-16T13:12:00.007-06:00

This post is obviously regarding circumcision; I found this recently published article interesting... (I don't necessarily agree with everything in the article, I just found some points compelling...)

The Case Against Circumcision

PAUL M. FLEISS, M.D.
Mothering Magazine
January 24, 2008

“Routine circumcision of babies in the United States did not begin until the Cold War era. Circumcision is almost unheard of in Europe, Southern America, and non-Muslim Asia. In fact, only 10 to 15 percent of men throughout the world are circumcised.”

“The natural penis requires no special care. A child’s foreskin, like his eyelids, is self-cleansing. Forcibly retracting a baby’s foreskin can lead to irritation and infection. The best way to care for a child’s intact penis is to leave it alone.” — The Foreskin Is Necessary

Western countries have no tradition of circumcision. In antiquity, the expansion of the Greek and Roman Empires brought Westerners into contact with the peoples of the Middle East, some of whom marked their children with circumcision and other sexual mutilations. To protect these children, the Greeks and Romans passed laws forbidding circumcision.1 Over the centuries, the Catholic Church has passed many similar laws.2,3 The traditional Western response to circumcision has been revulsion and indignation.

Circumcision started in America during the masturbation hysteria of the Victorian Era, when a few American doctors circumcised boys to punish them for masturbating. Victorian doctors knew very well that circumcision denudes, desensitizes, and disables the penis. Nevertheless, they were soon claiming that circumcision cured epilepsy, convulsions, paralysis, elephantiasis, tuberculosis, eczema, bed-wetting, hip-joint disease, fecal incontinence, rectal prolapse, wet dreams, hernia, headaches, nervousness, hysteria, poor eyesight, idiocy, mental retardation, and insanity.4

In fact, no procedure in the history of medicine has been claimed to cure and prevent more diseases than circumcision. As late as the 1970s, leading American medical textbooks still advocated routine circumcision as a way to prevent masturbation.5 The antisexual motivations behind an operation that entails cutting off part of the penis are obvious.

The radical practice of routinely circumcising babies did not begin until the Cold War era. This institutionalization of what amounted to compulsory circumcision was part of the same movement that pathologized and medicalized birth and actively discouraged breastfeeding. Private-sector, corporate-run hospitals institutionalized routine circumcision without ever consulting the American people. There was no public debate or referendum. It was only in the 1970s that a series of lawsuits forced hospitals to obtain parental consent to perform this contraindicated but highly profitable surgery. Circumcisers responded by inventing new “medical” reasons for circumcision in an attempt to scare parents into consenting.

Today the reasons given for circumcision have been updated to play on contemporary fears and anxieties; but one day they, too, will be considered irrational. Now that such current excuses as the claim that this procedure prevents cancer and sexually transmitted diseases have been thoroughly discredited, circumcisers will undoubtedly invent new ones. But if circumcisers were really motivated by purely medical considerations, the procedure would have died out long ago, along with leeching, skull-drilling, and castration. The fact that it has not suggests that the compulsion to circumcise came first, the “reasons,” later.

Millions of years of evolution have fashioned the human body into a model of refinement, elegance, and efficiency, with every part having a function and purpose. Evolution has determined that mammals’ genitals should be sheathed in a protective, responsive, multipurpose foreskin. Every normal human being is born with a foreskin. In females, it protects the glans of the clitoris; in males, it protects the glans of the penis. Thus, the foreskin is an essential part of human sexual anatomy.

Parents should enjoy the arrival of a new child with as few worries as possible. The birth of a son in the US, however, is often fraught with anxiety and confusion. Most parents are pressured to hand their baby sons over to a stranger, who, behind closed doors, straps babies down and cuts their foreskins off. The billion-dollar-a-year circumcision industry has bombarded Americans with confusing rhetoric and calculated scare tactics.

Information about the foreskin itself is almost always missing from discussions about circumcision. The mass circumcision campaigns of the past few decades have resulted in pandemic ignorance about this remarkable structure and its versatile role in human sexuality. Ignorance and false information about the foreskin are the rule in American medical literature, education, and practice. Most American medical textbooks depict the human penis, without explanation, as circumcised, as if it were so by nature.

What Is the Foreskin?

The foreskin is a uniquely specialized, sensitive, functional organ of touch. No other part of the body serves the same purpose. As a modified extension of the penile shaft skin, the foreskin covers and usually extends beyond the glans before folding under itself and finding its circumferential point of attachment just behind the corona (the rim of the glans). The foreskin is, therefore, a double-layered organ. Its true length is twice the length of its external fold and comprises as much as 80 percent or more of the penile skin covering.6,7

The foreskin contains a rich concentration of blood vessels and nerve endings. It is lined with the peripenic muscle sheet, a smooth muscle layer with longitudinal fibers. These muscle fibers are whirled, forming a kind of sphincter that ensures optimum protection of the urinary tract from contaminants of all kinds.

Like the undersurface of the eyelids or the inside of the cheek, the undersurface of the foreskin consists of mucous membrane. It is divided into two distinct zones: the soft mucosa and the ridged mucosa. The soft mucosa lies against the glans penis and contains ectopic sebaceous glands that secrete emollients, lubricants, and protective antibodies. Similar glands are found in the eyelids and mouth.

Adjacent to the soft mucosa and just behind the lips of the foreskin is the ridged mucosa. This exquisitely sensitive structure consists of tightly pleated concentric bands, like the elastic bands at the top of a sock. These expandable pleats allow the foreskin lips to open and roll back, exposing the glans. The ridged mucosa gives the foreskin its characteristic taper.

On the underside of the glans, the foreskin’s point of attachment is advanced toward the meatus (urethral opening) and forms a bandlike ligament called the frenulum. It is identical to the frenulum that secures the tongue to the floor of the mouth. The foreskin’s frenulum holds it in place over the glans, and, in conjunction with the smooth muscle fibers, helps return the retracted foreskin to its usual forward position over the glans.

Retraction of the Foreskin

At birth, the foreskin is usually attached to the glans, very much as a fingernail is attached to a finger. By puberty, the penis will usually have completed its development, and the foreskin will have separated from the glans.8 This separation occurs in its own time; there is no set age by which the foreskin and glans must be separated. One wise doctor described the process thus, “The foreskin therefore can be likened to a rosebud which remains closed and muzzled. Like a rosebud, it will only blossom when the time is right. No one opens a rosebud to make it blossom.”9

Even if the glans and foreskin separate naturally in infancy, the foreskin lips can normally dilate only enough to allow the passage of urine. This ideal feature protects the glans from premature exposure to the external environment.

The penis develops naturally throughout childhood. Eventually, the child will, on his own, make the wondrous discovery that his foreskin will retract. There is no reason for parents, physicians, or other caregivers to manipulate a child’s penis. The only person to retract a child’s foreskin should be the child himself, when he has discovered that his foreskin is ready to retract.

Parents should be wary of anyone who tries to retract their child’s foreskin, and especially wary of anyone who wants to cut it off. Human foreskins are in great demand for any number of commercial enterprises, and the marketing of purloined baby foreskins is a multimillion-dollar- a-year industry. Pharmaceutical and cosmetic companies use human foreskins as research material. Corporations such as Advanced Tissue Sciences, Organogenesis, and BioSurface Technology use human foreskins as the raw materials for a type of breathable bandage.10

What Are the Foreskin’s Functions?

The foreskin has numerous protective, sensory, and sexual functions.

* Protection: Just as the eyelids protect the eyes, the foreskin protects the glans and keeps its surface soft, moist, and sensitive. It also maintains optimal warmth, pH balance, and cleanliness. The glans itself contains no sebaceous glands-glands that produce the sebum, or oil, that moisturizes our skin.11 The foreskin produces the sebum that maintains proper health of the surface of the glans.

* Immunological Defense: The mucous membranes that line all body orifices are the body’s first line of immunological defense. Glands in the foreskin produce antibacterial and antiviral proteins such as lysozyme.12 Lysozyme is also found in tears and mother’s milk. Specialized epithelial Langerhans cells, an immune system component, abound in the foreskin’s outer surface.13 Plasma cells in the foreskin’s mucosal lining secrete immunoglobulins, antibodies that defend against infection.14

* Erogenous Sensitivity: The foreskin is as sensitive as the fingertips or the lips of the mouth. It contains a richer variety and greater concentration of specialized nerve receptors than any other part of the penis.15 These specialized nerve endings can discern motion, subtle changes in temperature, and fine gradations of texture.16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23

* Coverage During Erection: As it becomes erect, the penile shaft becomes thicker and longer. The double-layered foreskin provides the skin necessary to accommodate the expanded organ and to allow the penile skin to glide freely, smoothly, and pleasurably over the shaft and glans.

* Self-Stimulating Sexual Functions: The foreskin’s double-layered sheath enables the penile shaft skin to glide back and forth over the penile shaft. The foreskin can normally be slipped all the way, or almost all the way, back to the base of the penis, and also slipped forward beyond the glans. This wide range of motion is the mechanism by which the penis and the orgasmic triggers in the foreskin, frenulum, and glans are stimulated.

* Sexual Functions in Intercourse: One of the foreskin’s functions is to facilitate smooth, gentle movement between the mucosal surfaces of the two partners during intercourse. The foreskin enables the penis to slip in and out of the vagina nonabrasively inside its own slick sheath of self-lubricating, movable skin. The female is thus stimulated by moving pressure rather than by friction only, as when the male’s foreskin is missing.

* The foreskin fosters intimacy between the two partners by enveloping the glans and maintaining it as an internal organ. The sexual experience is enhanced when the foreskin slips back to allow the male’s internal organ, the glans, to meet the female’s internal organ, the cervix-a moment of supreme intimacy and beauty.

The foreskin may have functions not yet recognized or understood. Scientists in Europe recently detected estrogen receptors in its basal epidermal cells.24 Researchers at the University of Manchester found that the human foreskin has apocrine glands.25 These specialized glands produce pheromones, nature’s chemical messengers. Further studies are needed to fully understand these features of the foreskin and the role they play.

Care of the Foreskin

The natural penis requires no special care. A child’s foreskin, like his eyelids, is self-cleansing. For the same reason it is inadvisable to lift the eyelids and wash the eyeballs, it is inadvisable to retract a child’s foreskin and wash the glans. Immersion in plain water during the bath is all that is needed to keep the intact penis clean.26

The white emollient under the child’s foreskin is called smegma. Smegma is probably the most misunderstood, most unjustifiably maligned substance in nature. Smegma is clean, not dirty, and is beneficial and necessary. It moisturizes the glans and keeps it smooth, soft, and supple. Its antibacterial and antiviral properties keep the penis clean and healthy. All mammals produce smegma. Thomas J. Ritter, MD, underscored its importance when he commented, “The animal kingdom would probably cease to exist without smegma.”27

Studies suggest that it is best not to use soap on the glans or foreskin’s inner fold.28 Forcibly retracting and washing a baby’s foreskin destroys the beneficial bacterial flora that protect the penis from harmful germs and can lead to irritation and infection. The best way to care for a child’s intact penis is to leave it alone. After puberty, males can gently rinse their glans and foreskin with warm water, according to their own self-determined needs.
How Common Is Circumcision?

Circumcision is almost unheard of in Europe, South America, and non-Muslim Asia. In fact, only 10 to 15 percent of men throughout the world are circumcised, the vast majority of whom are Muslim.29 The neonatal circumcision rate in the western US has now fallen to 34.2 percent.30 This relatively diminished rate may surprise American men born during the era when nearly 90 percent of baby boys were circumcised automatically, with or without their parents’ consent.

How Does Circumcision Harm?

The “medical” debate about the “potential health benefits” of circumcision rarely addresses its real effects.

* Circumcision denudes: Depending on the amount of skin cut off, circumcision robs a male of as much as 80 percent or more of his penile skin. Depending on the foreskin’s length, cutting it off makes the penis as much as 25 percent or more shorter. Careful anatomical investigations have shown that circumcision cuts off more than 3 feet of veins, arteries, and capillaries, 240 feet of nerves, and more than 20,000 nerve endings.31 The foreskin’s muscles, glands, mucous membrane, and epithelial tissue are destroyed, as well.

* Circumcision desensitizes: Circumcision desensitizes the penis radically. Foreskin amputation means severing the rich nerve network and all the nerve receptors in the foreskin itself. Circumcision almost always damages or destroys the frenulum. The loss of the protective foreskin desensitizes the glans. Because the membrane covering the permanently externalized glans is now subjected to constant abrasion and irritation, it keratinizes, becoming dry and tough. The nerve endings in the glans, which in the intact penis are just beneath the surface of the mucous membrane, are now buried by successive layers of keratinization. The denuded glans takes on a dull, grayish, sclerotic appearance.

* Circumcision disables: The amputation of so much penile skin permanently immobilizes whatever skin remains, preventing it from gliding freely over the shaft and glans. This loss of mobility destroys the mechanism by which the glans is normally stimulated. When the circumcised penis becomes erect, the immobilized remaining skin is stretched, sometimes so tightly that not enough skin is left to cover the erect shaft. Hair-bearing skin from the groin and scrotum is often pulled onto the shaft, where hair is not normally found. The surgically externalized mucous membrane of the glans has no sebaceous glands. Without the protection and emollients of the foreskin, it dries out, making it susceptible to cracking and bleeding.

* Circumcision disfigures: Circumcision alters the appearance of the penis drastically. It permanently externalizes the glans, normally an internal organ. Circumcision leaves a large circumferential surgical scar on the penile shaft. Because circumcision usually necessitates tearing the foreskin from the glans, pieces of the glans may be torn off, too, leaving it pitted and scarred. Shreds of foreskin may adhere to the raw glans, forming tags and bridges of dangling, displaced skin.32

Depending on the amount of skin cut off and how the scar forms, the circumcised penis may be permanently twisted, or curve or bow during erection.33 The contraction of the scar tissue may pull the shaft into the abdomen, in effect shortening the penis or burying it completely.34

* Circumcision disrupts circulation: Circumcision interrupts the normal circulation of blood throughout the penile skin system and glans. The blood flowing into major penile arteries is obstructed by the line of scar tissue at the point of incision, creating backflow instead of feeding the branches and capillary networks beyond the scar. Deprived of blood, the meatus may contract and scarify, obstructing the flow of urine.35 This condition, known as meatal stenosis, often requires corrective surgery. Meatal stenosis is found almost exclusively among boys who have been circumcised.

Circumcision also severs the lymph vessels, interrupting the circulation of lymph and sometimes causing lymphedema, a painful, disfiguring condition in which the remaining skin of the penis swells with trapped lymph fluid.

* Circumcision harms the developing brain: Recent studies published in leading medical journals have reported that circumcision has long-lasting detrimental effects on the developing brain,36 adversely altering the brain’s perception centers. Circumcised boys have a lower pain threshold than girls or intact boys.37 Developmental neuropsychologist Dr. James Prescott suggests that circumcision can cause deeper and more disturbing levels of neurological damage, as well. 38, 39

* Circumcision is unhygienic and unhealthy: One of the most common myths about circumcision is that it makes the penis cleaner and easier to take care of. This is not true. Eyes without eyelids would not be cleaner; neither would a penis without its foreskin. The artificially externalized glans and meatus of the circumcised penis are constantly exposed to abrasion and dirt, making the circumcised penis, in fact, more unclean. The loss of the protective foreskin leaves the urinary tract vulnerable to invasion by bacterial and viral pathogens.

The circumcision wound is larger than most people imagine. It is not just the circular point of union between the outer and inner layers of the remaining skin. Before a baby is circumcised, his foreskin must be torn from his glans, literally skinning it alive. This creates a large open area of raw, bleeding flesh, covered at best with a layer of undeveloped proto-mucosa. Germs can easily enter the damaged tissue and bloodstream through the raw glans and, even more easily, through the incision itself.

Even after the wound has healed, the externalized glans and meatus are still forced into constant unnatural contact with urine, feces, chemically treated diapers, and other contaminants.

Female partners of circumcised men do not report a lower rate of cervical cancer,40 nor does circumcision prevent penile cancer.41 A recent study shows that the penile cancer rate is higher in the US than in Denmark, where circumcision, except among Middle-Eastern immigrant workers, is almost unheard of.42 Indeed, researchers should investigate the possibility that circumcision has actually increased the rate of these diseases.

Circumcision does not prevent acquisition or transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). In fact, the US has both the highest percentage of sexually active circumcised males in the Western world and the highest rates of sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS. Rigorously controlled prospective studies show that circumcised American men are at a greater risk for bacterial and viral STDs, especially gonorrhea,43 nongonoccal urethritis,44 human papilloma virus,45 herpes simplex virus type 2,46 and chlamydia.47

* Circumcision is always risky: Circumcision always carries the risk of serious, even tragic, consequences. Its surgical complication rate is one in 500.48 These complications include uncontrollable bleeding and fatal infections.49 There are many published case reports of gangrene following circumcision.50 Pathogenic bacteria such as staphylococcus, Proteus, Pseudomonas, other coliforms, and even tuberculosis can cause infections leading to death.51, 52 These organisms enter the wound because it provides easy entry, not because the child is predisposed to infection.

Medical journals have published numerous accounts of babies who have had part or all of their glans cut off while they were being circumcised.53, 54, 55 Other fully conscious, unanesthetized babies have had their entire penis burned off with an electrocautery gun.56, 57, 58 The September 1989 Journal of Urology published an account of four such cases.59 The article described the sex-change operation as “feminizing genitoplasty,” performed on these babies in an attempt to change them into girls. The March 1997 Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine described one young person’s horror on learning that “she” had been born a normal male, but that a circumciser had burned his penis off when he was a baby.60 Many other similar cases have been documented.61, 62 Infant circumcision has a reported death rate of one in 500,000.63, 64

* Circumcision harms mothers: Scientific studies have consistently shown that circumcision disrupts a child’s behavioral development. Studies performed at the University of Colorado School of Medicine showed that circumcision is followed by prolonged, unrestful non-REM (rapid-eye-movement) sleep.65 In response to the lengthy bombardment of their neural pathways with unbearable pain, the circumcised babies withdrew into a kind of semicoma that lasted days or even weeks.

Numerous other studies have proven that circumcision disrupts the mother-infant bond during the crucial period after birth. Research has also shown that circumcision disrupts feeding patterns. In a study at the Washington University School of Medicine, most babies would not nurse right after they were circumcised, and those who did would not look into their mothers’ eyes.66

* Circumcision violates patients’ and human rights: No one has the right to cut off any part of someone else’s genitals without that person’s competent, fully informed consent. Since it is the infant who must bear the consequences, circumcision violates his legal rights both to refuse treatment and to seek alternative treatment. In 1995, the American Academy of Pediatrics Committee on Bioethics stated that only a competent patient can give patient consent or informed consent.67An infant is obviously too young to consent to anything. He must be protected from anyone who would take advantage of his defenselessness. The concept of informed parental permission allows for medical interventions in situations of clear and immediate medical necessity only, such as disease, trauma, or deformity. The human penis in its normal, uncircumcised state satisfies none of these requirements.

Physicians have a duty to refuse to perform circumcision. They also must educate parents who, out of ignorance or misguidance, request this surgery for their sons. The healthcare professional’s obligation is to protect the interests of the child. It is unethical in the extreme to force upon a child an amputation he almost certainly would never have chosen for himself.

Common Sense

To be intact, as nature intended, is best. The vast majority of males who are given the choice value their wholeness and keep their foreskins, for the same reason they keep their other organs of perception. Parents in Europe and non-Muslim Asia never have forced their boys to be circumcised. It would no more occur to them to cut off part of their boys’ penises than it would to cut off part of their ears. Respecting a child’s right to keep his genitals intact is normal and natural. It is conservative in the best sense of the word.

A circumcised father who has mixed feelings about his intact newborn son may require gentle, compassionate psychological counseling to help him come to terms with his loss and to overcome his anxieties about normal male genitalia. In such cases, the mother should steadfastly protect her child, inviting her husband to share this protective role and helping him diffuse his negative feelings. Most parents want what is best for their baby. Wise parents listen to their hearts and trust their instinct to protect their baby from harm. The experience of the ages has shown that babies thrive best in a trusting atmosphere of love, gentleness, respect, acceptance, nurturing, and intimacy. Cutting off a baby’s foreskin shatters this trust. Circumcision wounds and harms the baby and the person the baby will become. Parents who respect their son’s wholeness are bequeathing to him his birthright-his body, perfect and beautiful in its entirety.

***

Organizations

Doctors Opposing Circumcision (DOC) 2442 N.W. Market Street, Suite 42 Seattle, WA 98107 206-368-8358 weber.u.washington.edu/~gcd/DOC/

The National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers (NOCIRC), PO Box 2512 San Anselmo, CA 94979-2512 415-488-9883 http://www.nocirc.org

The National Organization to Halt the Abuse and Routine Mutilation of Males (NOHARMM) PO Box 460795 San Francisco, CA 94146-0795 415-826-9351 http://www.noharmm.org

Nurses for the Rights of the Child, 369 Montezuma, Suite 354 Santa Fe, NM 87501 505-989-7377 http://www.cirp.org/nrc/

Books

Available from bookstores, from the publishers, or from NOCIRC.

Bigelow, Jim, PhD. The Joy of Uncircumcising! Exploring Circumcision: History, Myths, Psychology, Restoration, Sexual Pleasure and Human Rights. 2nd ed. Aptos, CA: Hourglass, 1995.

Denniston, George C., MD, MPH, and Marilyn Fayre Milos, RN, eds. Sexual Mutilations: A Human Tragedy. (Proceedings of the Fourth International Symposium on Sexual Mutilations, Lausanne, Switzerland, 1996). New York: Plenum Press, 1997.

Goldman, Ronald, PhD. Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma: How an American Cultural Practice Affects Infants and Ultimately Us All. Boston: Vanguard Publications, 1997.

Goldman, Ronald, PhD. Questioning Circumcision: A Jewish Perspective. 2nd ed. Boston: Vanguard Publications, 1997.

O’Mara, Peggy, ed. Circumcision: The Rest of the Story-A Selection of Articles, Letters, and Resources 1979- 1993. Santa Fe, NM: Mothering,1993.

Ritter, Thomas J., MD, and George C. Denniston, MD. Say No to Circumcision! 40 Compelling Reasons Why You Should Respect His Birthright and Keep Your Son Whole, 2nd ed. Aptos, CA: Hourglass, 1996.
Video

Whose Body, Whose Rights? Examining the Ethics and the Human Rights Issue of Infant Male Circumcision. Award-winning documentary. 56 min. VHS. Personal use: VideoFinders, 1-800-343-4727

Educational facilities

UC Center for Media and Independent Learning 2000 Center Street, 4th Floor Berkeley, CA 94704 510-642-0460.

For World Wide Web ordering and preview: www.cirp.org/CIRP/pages/reviews/whosebody/

Notes

1. T. J. Ritter and G. C. Denniston, Say No to Circumcision: 40 Compelling Reasons, 2nd ed. (Aptos, CA: Hourglass, 1996),6-20.

2. “Incipit Libellus De Ecclesiasticis Disciplinis et Religione Christiana Collectus. Liber II.XC, XCI” in Patrologiæ Cursus Completus, vol. 132 (Paris: Apud Garnier Fratres, Editores et J. P. Migne Successores, 1880), 301-302.

3. S. Grayzel, The Church and the Jews in the XIIth Century, vol. 2, ed. K. R. Stow (Detroit, MI: Wayne State University Press, 1989), 246-247.

4. See Note 10, 17-40.

5. M. F. Campbell, “The Male Genital Tract and the Female Urethra,” in Urology, eds. M. F. Campbell and J. H. Harrison, vol. 2, 3rd ed. (Philadelphia: W. B. Saunders, 1970), 1836.

6. See photographic series: J. A. Erickson, “Three Zones of Penile Skin.” In M. M. Lander, “The Human Prepuce,” in G. C. Denniston and M. F. Milos, eds., Sexual Mutilations: A Human Tragedy (New York: Plenum Press, 1997), 79-81.

7. M. Davenport, “Problems with the Penis and Prepuce: Natural History of the Foreskin” (photograph 1), British Medical Journal 312 (1996): 299-301.

8. J. Øster, “Further Fate of the Foreskin,” Archives of Disease in Childhood 43 (1968): 200-203.

9. H. L. Tan, “Foreskin Fallacies and Phimosis,” Annals of the Academy of Medicine, Singapore 14 (1985): 626-630.

10. F. A. Hodges, “Short History of the Institutionalization of Involuntary Sexual Mutilation in the United States,” in G. C. Denniston and M. F. Milos, eds., Sexual Mutilations: A Human Tragedy (New York: Plenum Press, 1997), 35.

11. A. B. Hyman and M. H. Brownstein, “Tyson’s ‘Glands’: Ectopic Sebaceous Glands and Papillomatosis Penis,” Archives of Dermatology 99 (1969): 31-37.

12. A. Ahmed and A. W. Jones, “Apocrine Cystadenoma: A Report of Two Cases Occurring on the Prepuce,” British Journal of Dermatology 81 (1969): 899-901.

13. G. N. Weiss et al., “The Distribution and Density of Langerhans Cells in the Human Prepuce: Site of a Diminished Immune Response?” Israel Journal of Medical Sciences 29 (1993): 42-43.

14. P. J. Flower et al., “An Immunopathologic Study of the Bovine Prepuce,” Veterinary Pathology 20 (1983):189-202.

15. Z. Halata and B. L. Munger, “The Neuroanatomical Basis for the Protopathic Sensibility of the Human Glans Penis,” Brain Research 371 (1986): 205-230.

16. J. R. Taylor et al., “The Prepuce: Specialized Mucosa of the Penis and Its Loss to Circumcision,” British Journal of Urology 77 (1996): 291-295.

17. H. C. Bazett et al., “Depth, Distribution and Probable Identification in the Prepuce of Sensory End-Organs Concerned in Sensations of Temperature and Touch; Thermometric Conductivity,” Archives of Neurology and Psychiatry 27 (1932): 489-517.

18. D. Ohmori, “Über die Entwicklung der Innervation der Genitalapparate als Peripheren Aufnahmeapparat der Genitalen Reflexe,” Zeitschrift für Anatomie und Entwicklungsgeschichte 70 (1924): 347-410.

19. A. De Girolamo and A. Cecio, “Contributo alla Conoscenza dell’innervazione Sensitiva del Prepuzio Nell’uomo,” Bollettino della Societa Italiana de Biologia Sperimentale 44 (1968): 1521-1522.

20. A. S. Dogiel, “Die Nervenendigungen in der Haut der äusseren Genitalorgane des Menschen,” Archiv für Mikroskopische Anatomie 41 (1893): 585-612.

21. A. Bourlond and R. K. Winkelmann, “L’innervation du Prépuce chez le Nouveau-né,” Archives Belges de Dermatologie et de Syphiligraphie 21 (1965): 139-153.

22. R. K. Winkelmann, “The Erogenous Zones: Their Nerve Supply and Its Significance,” Proceedings of the Staff Meetings of the Mayo Clinic 34 (1959): 39-47.

23. R. K. Winkelmann, “The Cutaneous Innervation of Human Newborn Prepuce,” Journal of Investigative Dermatology 26 (1956): 53-67.

24. R. Hausmann et al., “The Forensic Value of the Immunohistochemical Detection of Oestrogen Receptors in Vaginal Epithelium,” International Journal of Legal Medicine 109 (1996): 10-30.

25. See Note 12.

26. American Academy of Pediatrics, Newborns: Care of the Uncircumcised Penis: Guidelines for Parents (Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics, 1994).

27. See Note 1.

28. See Note 1.

29. S. A. Aldeeb Abu-Sahlieh, “Jehovah, His Cousin Allah, and Sexual Mutilations,” in Sexual Mutilations: A Human Tragedy, eds. G. C. Denniston and M. F. Milos (New York: Plenum Press, 1997), 41-62.

30. National Center for Health Statistics of the United States Department of Health and Human Services, 1994.

31. See Note 17.

32. G. T. Klauber and J. Boyle, “Preputial Skin-Bridging: Complication of Circumcision,” Urology 3 (1974): 722-723.

33. J. P. Gearhart, “Complications of Pediatric Circumcision,” in Urologic Complications, Medical and Surgical, Adult and Pediatric, ed. F. F. Marshall (Chicago: Year Book Medical Publishers, 1986), 387-396.

34. R. D. Talarico and J. E. Jasaitis, “Concealed Penis: A Complication of Neonatal Circumcision,” Journal of Urology 110 (1973): 732-733.

35. R. Persad et al., “Clinical Presentation and Pathophysiology of Meatal Stenosis Following Circumcision,” British Journal of Urology 75 (1995): 90-91.

36. A. Taddio et al., “Effect of Neonatal Circumcision on Pain Responses during Vaccination in Boys,” Lancet 345 (1995): 291-292.

37. A. Taddio et al., “Effect of Neonatal Circumcision on Pain Response during Subsequent Routine Vaccination,” Lancet 349 (1997): 599-603.

38. J. W. Prescott, “Genital Pain vs. Genital Pleasure: Why the One and Not the Other?” Truth Seeker 1 (1989): 14-21.

39. R. Goldman, Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma (Boston: Vanguard Publications, 1997), 139-175.

40. M. Terris et al., “Relation of Circumcision to Cancer of the Cervix,” American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology 117 (1973): 1056-1065.

41. C. J. Cold et al., “Carcinoma in Situ of the Penis in a 76-Year-Old Circumcised Man,” Journal of Family Practice 44 (1997): 407-410.

42. M. Frisch et al., “Falling Incidence of Penis Cancer in an Uncircumcised Population (Denmark 1943-90),” British Medical Journal 311 (1995): 1471.

43. B. Donovan et al., “Male Circumcision and Common Sexually Transmissible Diseases in a Developed Nation Setting,” Genitourinary Medicine 70 (1994): 317-320.

44. G. L. Smith et al., “Circumcision as a Risk Factor for Urethritis in Racial Groups,” American Journal of Public Health 77 (1987): 452-454.

45. L. S. Cook et al., “Clinical Presentation of Genital Warts among Circumcised and Uncircumcised Heterosexual Men Attending an Urban STD Clinic,” Genitourinary Medicine 69 (1993): 262-264.

46. I. Bassett et al., “Herpes Simplex Virus Type 2 Infection of Heterosexual Men Attending a Sexual Health Centre,” Medical Journal of Australia 160 (1994): 697-700.

47. E. O. Laumann et al., “Circumcision in the United States: Prevalence, Prophylactic Effects, and Sexual Practice,” Journal of the American Medical Association 277 (1997): 1052-1057.

48. W. F. Gee and J. S. Ansell, “Neonatal Circumcision: A Ten-Year Overview: With Comparison of the Gomco Clamp and the Plastibell Device,” Pediatrics 58 (1976): 824-827.

49. G. W. Kaplan, “Complications of Circumcision,” Urologic Clinics of North America 10 (1983): 543-549.

50. S. J. Sussman et al., “Fournier’s Syndrome: Report of Three Cases and Review of the Literature,” American Journal of Diseases of Children 132 (1978): 1189-1191.

51. B. V. Kirkpatrick and D. V. Eitzman, “Neonatal Septicemia after Circumcision,” Clinical Pediatrics 13 (1974): 767-768.

52. J. M. Scurlock and P. J. Pemberton, “Neonatal Meningitis and Circumcision,” Medical Journal of Australia 1 (1977): 332-334.

53. G. R. Gluckman et al., “Newborn Penile Glans Amputation during Circumcision and Successful Reattachment,” Journal of Urology 153 (1995): 778-779.

54. B. S. Strimling, “Partial Amputation of Glans Penis during Mogen Clamp Circumcision,” Pediatrics 87 (1996): 906-907.

55. J. Sherman et al., “Circumcision: Successful Glandular Reconstruction and Survival Following Traumatic Amputation,” Journal of Urology 156 (1996): 842-844.

56. J. R. Sharpe and R. P. Finney, “Electrocautery Circumcision,” Urology 19 (1982): 228.

57. C. K. Pearlman, “Caution Advised on Electrocautery Circumcisions,” Urology 19 (1982): 453.

58. C. K. Pearlman, “Reconstruction Following Iatrogenic Burn of the Penis,” Journal of Pediatric Surgery 11 (1976):121-122.

59. J. P. Gearhart and J. A. Rock, “Total Ablation of the Penis after Circumcision with Electrocautery: A Method of Management and Long-Term Followup,” Journal of Urology 142 (1989):799-801.

60. M. Diamond and H. K. Sigmundson, “Sex Reassignment at Birth: Long-Term Review and Clinical Implications,” Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine 151 (1997): 298-304.

61. J. Money, “Ablatio Penis: Normal Male Infant Sex-Reassigned as a Girl,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 4 (1975): 65-71.

62. D. A. Gilbert et al., “Phallic Construction in Prepubertal and Adolescent Boys,” Journal of Urology 149 (1993): 1521-1526.

63. R. S. Thompson, “Routine Circumcision in the Newborn: An Opposing View,” Journal of Family Practice 31 (1990): 189-196.

64. T. E. Wiswell, “Circumcision Circumspection,” New England Journal of Medicine 336 (1997): 1244-1245.

65. R. N. Emde et al., “Stress and Neonatal Sleep,” Psychosomatic Medicine 33 (1971): 491-497.

66. R. E. Marshall et al., “Circumcision: II. Effects upon Mother-Infant Interaction,” Early Human Development 7 (1982): 367-374.

67. Committee on Bioethics, “Informed Consent, Parental Permission, and Assent in Pediatric Practice,” Pediatrics 95 (1995): 314-317.

The Case Against Circumcision
Paul M. Fleiss, MD

* Paul M. Fleiss, MD, MPH, is assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California Medical Center. He is the author of numerous scientific articles published in leading national and international medical journals.

Published in Mothering: The Magazine of Natural Family Living, Winter 1997, pp. 36–45.

Hot Dogs

2008-04-01T11:46:00.004-06:00

I don’t know why every time I decide I’m going to start writing, the first thing I think about is hot dogs. It is probably because of my creative writing class in the 8^th grade. We would always start out by writing about whatever we thought about, and the writing exercise, which brought me to the poem, which was published, in the school paper, and the poem of which I was very proud, was an exercise, which started with the discussion of hot dogs. I think I had said that I wanted to eat a hot dog, or I was merely describing the properties of hot dogs, whatever the case, I knew that I was writing about something entirely inconsequential… hot dogs.

I suppose a hot dog is so non-intimidating to write about, because it is dead meat, and not only that, some even debate that a hot dog fits into the category of meat. Also, a hot dog cannot stand on its own (both literally and metaphorically); it needs to be complimented with the very least a bun and ketchup. The plain combination of the leftover meats in a butcher factory isn’t enough to satisfy the taste buds; it needs help.

In Brazil, hot dogs are can become quite the specialty. They may be served with heaping portions of rice and beans on the bun, or stroganoff and peas on top. Obviously, the Brazilian twist on this classic American meal forces one to use utensils, and obliterates the sense that the hot dog is a ballpark, finger food. However, some of the best hot dogs I ever ate were in Brazil… no joke.

But for all the insignificant issues a hot dog can bring with it, they can also be quite deadly. One time, my dad saw a guy actually die choking on a hot dog some years ago. It was really sad, but this full-grown man was doomed the second he took too big a bite out of a Frank. I find that death by hot dog is quite sad. It’s just so, as my hubby would say, ignominious… so the opposite of grand. I wouldn’t want to be the one in the hereafter to be in the conversation of “how did you die?” when my death was brought about by a hot dog. I would have to make something up, like being killed by a herd of disgruntled pigs… and hey, if you were killed by a hot dog, you could say this, and it would probably be true. The lesson: When eating hot dogs, take small bites.

There is something about hot dogs that can also be cute. For instance, when I took biology in college, we had to dissect the cutest little fetal pigs. Now I know there are some out there who would say fetal pigs are anything but cute, but let me explain. After getting used to the fishy smell of formaldehyde infused into a dead carcass, one could look at a fetal pig and think it just looks like a cute, baby pig that happens to be asleep, on its back, with its feet straight up in the air. And for those who don’t believe this is a cute position for a four-legged creature to be in, I dare you to find a dog with its legs in the air, while it’s sleeping and say it’s NOT cute. Anyways, the pigs could even be made to be cuter by breaking their little jaws and turning them into little puppets. I did this, and everyone loved the little puppet show I put on. See, just cute… Now you are probably wondering what these cute little fetal pigs have to do with hot dogs, let me tell you. It turns out, that typically, fetal pigs are tossed in with all the other left over meat, into the hot dog machines. You know how it probably goes… Mama pig is slaughtered, baby pig is inside, and the butchers have to make a decision: Toss it in with the other leftovers into the hot dog maker, or sell it to a local college biology department and make the big bucks. So next time you take a bite into a Frank, think that maybe, you have a mouthful of cuteness.

Speaking of hot dogs, more specifically dogs and cuteness, I so want a puppy for my little one to play with. Babies and dogs just go together.

Firsts

2008-03-12T16:06:00.014-06:00

Wow... I can't believe my baby is already 3 weeks old. And I can't believe how TIRED I am ALL THE TIME. Even when I get "enough" hours of sleep, the nursing and diaper changing rituals every three hours are doing me in... It's been hard to get back on my normal schedule, hence, I haven't updated my blog in what seems like forever. Hopefully, my freelance writing will give me the motivation now to get out of bed earlier...

On a happy note, Evie has been experiencing her world and looking so cute in the process. She focuses on my face and listens to my voice (I know because she turns her head and looks at me when I talk to her... sometimes). And she lifts her head about 45 degrees and looks at me when I place her against my shoulder.
Here are some "firsts" that my little girl has experienced...

Her first little dance while daddy sang (6 days old)...

Her first REAL bath (1 week 5 days old)!

Unlike a weak sponge bath the umbilical cord stump restricted me to, the real bath was faster, more efficient, and she loved it!
Look at that content smile when Scott wrapped her in a towel...

This is the first time our new family got to cuddle by a warm fireplace on a big fuzzy rug...

I want a fireplace in my house one day. I love them.

And she had her first Erva Mate as well... haha... not really.... She was 1 week 5 days old.

Her first time seeing daddy with short hair (2 weeks 4 days old).

They are the loves of my life...

This was Evie's first Sunday dinner at Great Grandma and Grandpa's house (2 weeks 5 days old).

She slept so soundly flowers sprung up around her!

And yeah... not really a first... but a funny picture...

haha

Fun News Story

2008-03-12T15:54:00.000-06:00

I love dolphins.

Dress Up

2008-02-27T13:35:00.007-07:00

Two days ago I took Evie out to the store. So of course, I had to dress her up to go out in public.

Unfortunately, for her, I was so paranoid she was going to get cold, that I wrapped her up in a REALLY warm, fuzzy blanket. I realized that it was too much for her when I look at her and her little cheeks were red and her body was so hot to touch!

After we went shopping, I had Scott take a picture of me and Evie because I can't stand the fact that the only picture I have with my little girl is of me in a hospital gown.

Scott wanted some pictures too...

I also dressed her up in a cute little dress my grandma made for her. The following pictures were taken yesterday, when she was 8 days old:

Smiles

2008-02-27T13:22:00.004-07:00

My favorite thing in the world is holding my little one and seeing a big smile cross her face. I know babies aren't supposed to know what they are doing when they smile, but I like to pretend that she's smiling because she's happy with her mommy.

My Birth Story

2008-02-24T15:22:00.011-07:00

Whew! What a week!

So, last Sunday (a week ago) I went to our little cousin's birthday party, and had a great time. We ate, played, and talked, and all the while, I was having contractions. They were pretty typical to what I had been feeling for the past month, they just seemed pretty regular but weren't bothering me in the least. After the party, Scott and I went home, and got to bed around midnight. At 1:30 AM, Monday morning, a mere hour and a half after I went to bed, I went into labor.

When I first awoke, I knew something was different. My contractions were stronger than any I had before, and I was having them every five minutes. Now it's hard to remember the early details of my labor, because my labor ended up lasting nearly two days, and to me, it's all sort of mushed together because I used hypnosis throughout it, and the hypnobirthing method essentially takes the mother's mind "outside of" her body, so as to allow her body to take over without the mind getting in the way.

Anyways, at about 6:30, Scott and I left for the hospital. I figured that I had been in labor for a while, and I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't go into the second stage of labor at home or in the car. After getting to the hospital, the nurse hooked me up to a monitor and started observing my contractions and the baby's heartbeat. Yes, they were regular, and yes I was in the early stages of labor. The baby was healthy, and not in distress, so the only thing she could recommend I do, is go back home. Since I was planning a natural birth, the hospital really couldn't just admit me because I didn't want to be put on Pitocin or induced and the nurse told me I was dilated to a 3. The midwife on call also recommended that I get as much sleep or as much rest as possible, because for hypnosis to be helpful to me, I needed to be relaxed and my body needed to be well rested. And of course, I happened to be lucky enough to have gotten an hour and a half of sleep before I went into labor.

I will admit right now. I was tired, cranky, and I was already using my hypnobirthing to aid me through my more intense contractions. The nurse also said that typically, the first stage of labor only lasted between 6 to 12 hours. We drove back home and I tried to relax in bed. I couldn't get any sleep, and at most, I was able to take 2 minute "cat naps" between contractions. Scott read me scripts, and I had my relaxation music playing.

I wasn't in pain, I was just extremely tired, and expecting my labor to progress at any moment. I figured that I would be back in the hospital by Monday afternoon, because then I would have been in labor for about 15 hours... How very wrong I was.

Scott and I played Scrabble, I ate Cheez-its, watched movies, but my labor never progressed. Monday afternoon came and went, and I started to wonder if my labor was EVER going to progress... especially as night rolled around, and I was essentially running on empty with only a mere hour and a half of sleep since Sunday night. Exhaustion was quickly taking hold, making it more and more difficult to focus on my scripts. I had listened to "Rainbow Relaxation" on my Zune to what seemed to me a hundred times, and Scott had exhausted his time and his voice reading me my progressive relaxation scripts.

At 1:30 AM, Tuesday morning, 24 hours after my labor started, we drove back to the hospital to see how things were progressing. I wasn't conversant like I had been the first time I went to the hospital. Scott did all the talking with the nurses while I listened to my hypnobirthing tracks on my Zune. I don't recall much of what was said (again I was in hypnosis and time seemed not to exist, and I literally shut out what was going on around me). Again, I wasn't in pain, just really tired, but thankfully relaxed. However, this time the nurse that checked me said I was dilated to a 2 and a half. I remember asking how it was possible for me to have lost progress, and I was told that I was probably still the same as before, but the nurse that had checked me before had over-estimated. The midwife on call was concerned that I hadn't progressed in 24 hours to the next stage, and that I hadn't dilated any more, and she strongly recommended I take a morphine shot so I could get some sleep. My body was exhausted and I needed rest. After much consideration, I agreed. My body needed the rest, and I wasn't having this baby any time soon. Scott drove me home, and on the way, I still remember how tripped out I was on the morphine (it literally make my hearing go wack). By the time I got home, I was out. Three hours later, my contractions woke me up again. And even though I only got a mere three hours of sleep (leaving the grand total to four hours since Sunday night) my body felt much, much better. I let my poor husband keep sleeping as I lay in bed, listening to my Zune, and allowed my body to keep doing what I knew it could do. After Scott woke up, we drove back to the hospital, and FINALLY when they checked me again, I was dilated to 5. They admitted me at around 10 or 11 Tuesday morning.

It was so great to finally have a room. I used the birthing ball, and listened to the relaxation cd, while Scott read me scripts and did light touch massage. The midwife on call was great, and also happened to be a hypnobirthing instructor. She also kept saying how she hated to come in and check on me, because my husband and I were doing so well, and felt as though she were interrupting a great thing we had going. (Which reminds me, the nurse on duty came to check on the baby's vitals EVERY half hour, which was so non-conducive to my self-induced relaxation.) A few hours later, the midwife checked my cervix, I was only at a 6. She had read my birth plan, and had been great at not offering pain meds or Pitocin, but she felt she had to strip my membranes. Apparently, my baby's head was still engaged in my pelvis at -1 (which it has been for the past few weeks), and there was a bag of fluid in front of her head in front of my cervix, which was acting as a sort of "water balloon" in keeping her head off of my cervix and keeping her putting the needed pressure on my cervix to dilate. I really had it in my heart from the beginning not to prematurely strip my membranes, so I declined my midwife's initial offer, and we came to a compromise, we would wait an hour, check my progress, and then consider stripping my membranes.

I got into the jetted tub for a bit, but then I spent most of the next hour in the rocking chair, which I felt was more comfortable. My body was relaxed, and I was in my hypnosis. I felt the contractions become stronger and stronger. The only sound I would make was when I would exhale a low moan for release. My husband was reading me scripts, and I was listening to my music. An hour later, the midwife had me sit on the bed, and she checked my cervix.

I was between an 8 and a half to a 9! My midwife, was so happy that I had gotten so far on my own, but my bag of waters still had not broken, the baby's head was still at and my body had started to want to "push." My exhales had become deeper and my moans more guttural.

She told me my membranes hadn't ruptured and that the baby's head still was engaged at -1, and asked for the go ahead on stripping my membranes. I agreed, and within seconds felt my waters break. Right after, however, I had an intense contraction as I lay on my back. I snapped out of my hypnosis because my back had this intense pain. My baby was STILL posterior.

"I can't handle this position!" I cried. My midwife firmly told me that I could finish the contraction and that when it was over, I could do what I wanted. I started crying, and my midwife pushed my knees (which relieved some of the pressure) and told me to go back into my hypnosis.

After that, my self-induced hypnosis was damaged. Instinctively, I turned over on my hands and knees, and rocking my hips, I would moan. My contractions were really intense now, and the pressure was ten times stronger.

I leaned on my birthing ball, and allowed my body to do what felt was best. I kept rocking back and forth, moaning in between contractions, and crying during them. Sometimes when I would exhale, the energy the contraction would bring would be strong enough to turn my exhales into cries and even a yell. My midwife told me to stop releasing by exhaling during contractions, she told me to hold my breath and turn the energy I was using to cry out into good strong pushes. I was able to comply. I stopped crying as loudly during contractions, and started pushing. Then, I felt her little body descend into the birth path. The sensation was unimaginable. At one point, while she was descending, it felt "good" in the sexual sense (I hope that doesn't sound weird.). I pushed through a few more contractions on my hands and knees and turned over. My back no longer hurt like it was before, but I was so exhausted and tired, I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. My midwife told me that I could, and told me that I was almost finished. She said that my last few pushes had done ton of work.

I sat in the bed and held my legs up against my chest while Scott held one of my legs, and a nurse held the other. Two contractions later, I heard my midwife say, "She's crowning!"
I had been crying, and saying I couldn't do it anymore, but then my hubby said, "She's almost here! I see her head, honey! Our baby is coming!"

It was amazing how when Scott told me this, I had a renewed sense of will power, and I got a surge of energy again. Two contractions later, her head was out, and with one final contraction I felt her little body slide out of me. Euphoria swept over me, and the midwife placed my little baby girl on my chest. She was so warm and soft and as she cried I couldn't believe how happy I was.

It was the most amazing experience of my life. I can't even begin to describe the feelings that were sweeping over me. Pain was the furthest thing from my consciousness. Euphoria and happiness had taken over my entire being.

Evie Victoria was born at a quarter to 5, Tuesday, the 19th of February. She weighed 8 lbs. and was 19 inches long. The total time it took me to push her out was only 25 minutes (and that was the most intense part of my labor).

I am so thankful I was able to have her naturally, and that I had prepared my mind and body to give birth. An epidural would've forced me to have been on my back throughout labor, and it was the hands and knees position that allowed Evie to turn, unassisted, the right way. I know that if I had an epidural, there is a strong possibility that I would've had to have an episiotimy forceps delivery, or maybe even a c-section (not to mention, an epidural has the possiblity of lowering my blood pressure and putting stress on my baby). But because I let my instincts, not unnecessary medical interventions like Pitocin or epidurals take over, I gave birth to a healthy, active baby, unaffected by drugs, and a baby who spent a mere 25 minutes in the birth path because I initially refused to allow my water to be broken.

And don't get me wrong, I'm not against medical interventions and drugs. But I'm all about only using it when absolutely necessary. Which is why I STRONGLY recommend any woman considering natural childbirth to prepare herself both mind and body, because it truly was hypnobirthing that allowed me to give birth naturally after a 41 hour labor. I stayed relaxed and calm throughout most of the labor, and it was really only the last hour that I was really uncomfortable. But I would never trade that hour of intense labor for months of postpartum recovery.

She never had one problem, and never showed any signs of distress throughout my two-day labor. I was able to breastfeed her that very night, and she didn't display any signs of lethargy and, much to my nipple's chagrin, she latched on right away.

As for me, my perineum remained intact, and the only damage I experienced was swelling, bruising, and a minor labial tear, which needed sutures. It will heal completely. But I have no torn or cut ligaments, or muscle tissue, which an episiotimy would've guaranteed.

I'm so happy I have a healthy little girl. She is so beautiful and I will now fill my blog with thousands and thousands of pictures and posts devoted to her. haha

V-Day Date

2008-02-15T09:00:00.011-07:00

He's working on my card...

He won't eat them, but I have to have olives on my pizza. So I ate them all by myself... ha

Masterworks of Victorian Art from the Collection of John H. Schaeffer
Scott was so giddy when we went to this. It was fun to watch his eyes light up.

This is Scott's desk at his studio on campus. I told him that it would make an awesome I-Spy.

It was a fun date!
But... I think the pizza or the olives (gasp!) made me sick... :P

Valentine's Day FLASHBACK

2008-02-14T14:49:00.008-07:00

So, on this Valentine's Day, I think I'll reflect on memories of a past Valentine's Day. Let's just review an old entry I had on my old online journal, and see just how much can change in three years:

Mood: Lonely
Date: 2-14-2005
Subject: Happy Fricken Valentine's Day

Well maybe not really. I personally do not enjoy this holiday. Why? Because it was purely invented to make people feel like crap. Gah. Whatever.

I guess the only loves of my life are my family. So I hope they have a good day today.

I hit the snooze button for over an hour this morning. I swear, I am not a morning person anymore. I don't know what it is. I got my roomie's habit of hitting the snooze button so here I am doing the same thing. I just can't do mornings. At least my Portuguese class was canceled due to the fact that we have a mid term this week. gulp. Hopefully someone up there will be looking out for me this week. Eesh.

Here are some pics.

I dyed my hair again but I don't know if you can really tell in the dim light. . . and it's mainly underneath that was dyed. . .

This pic is hilarious and yet rings true as well. . .

lol. Click here to play the "Give Bush a Brain Game."

***UPDATE***

Ok so I got a rose from a guy at about 10 pm on V-day. He is a Brazilian guy I met about a week ago. He is really nice and asked me to go with him to this salsa dance thing in SLC on Saturday night. . . BUT I FRICKEN' work. So now I have to try to get it off. This is the third date in four days that I've had to put off because I work for a hellish company that doesn't give a s*** about my social life. But anyways, I got a rose. That's the first time a boy (not including my dad) has ever given me a rose. It was kind of cool. . .

--End of Entry--

I can only laugh at myself as I read this. I think my brain is just as scattered now as it was then. Let's see what's changed in three years:

I'm married and certainly not lonely anymore.
I've graduated from BYU.
I live with my husband and not girls my age.
I'm extremely pregnant about to have a baby.
I no longer worry about stupid boys.
I no longer work for Blockbuster.
I've gotten plenty of roses since then. Most of which are from my sweet hubby!
MY HAIR ISN'T RED!

Let's see what hasn't changed:

I still hit the snooze button.
My sentiments about Bush haven't changed... except if you count that they got worse. haha
I still believe Valentine's Day was invented to make people feel like crap.

But, wow, looking back... I don't think I would want to go back to any of that. Except maybe my hair... Maybe I can convince Scott to let me dye it like that again. . . It would be fun! Except now I wouldn't get people asking me "Isn't that against the Honor Code?" because I'm no longer a BYU student. Dang. Maybe I'll just dye it and walk around campus for old time's sake... And let people think I'm being "rebellious." lol

Waiting for Labor and Getting a Different Kind of Labor

2008-02-13T11:24:00.004-07:00

So after a fun filled night of surges, I woke up thinking, Maybe this is it! She's finally coming!

But after showering and getting ready for the day, they started to become less and less intense. The great thing is that I really haven't been uncomfortable through all this practice labor... except for last night when my back was ~~hurting~~ absolutely killing me. But I did sleep like a baby throughout the night... so that was good.

And I'm so excited to report that I was offered an outsource writing job today from an old coworker of mine! I'm so excited! I'll be able to work on text for websites on a per project/site basis. So I get to work as much or as little as I want, all from the comfort of my own home! This will be a great way to make a little extra money. Being an outsource writer will mean that I will be able to type, work, and take care of my baby all at the same time! I will never have to leave home! Yay! And it's something I enjoy doing, I loved it when I worked as an in-house staff writer because of the work I did, but at the same time, the work environment wasn't the greatest. But at home, I feel I'll really be able to focus on each project and not feel overwhelmed or stressed. I really like the idea of working on one thing at a time, and not a thousand things at once. I really hope it all works out.

39 Weeks and a Day

2008-02-12T22:11:00.002-07:00

I thought I would update with a belly pic of me in my 40th week of pregnancy. And yes, the smile is forced. The dark circles under my eyes give me away as well. haha

I hate this!

2008-02-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

So... I woke up in way early this morning with the insane urge to empty my bladder. I wobbled into the bathroom and went... A LOT. Then... I started to worry that my water broke while I peed because I was "leaking" a little in another area.

Wondering whether or not my water broke has been consuming my thoughts this morning. I know it's supposed to be obvious when your water breaks, but I was groggy and tired and I thought maybe it broke while I went pee and so I couldn't really tell. . .

So I've been researching like crazy online... I haven't been leaking really the past few hours, and when I was it wasn't that much, so I'm guessing it wasn't my water and just a normal discharge. But still, I was so disoriented this morning that I have had a hard time distinguishing my imagination from reality.

I guess I'm just "on edge" because I really could have this baby at any time. So, if she doesn't come until the end of the month, the next couple of weeks are going to be tons of fun! :P

Midwife Checkup

2008-02-11T18:37:00.000-07:00

I saw my midwife today, and I found out that my cervix is 75-80% effaced, and I'm dilated to 1 and a half. The baby's head is also engaged in my pelvis (at -1). This really didn't tell me much about anything however, because I still could go into labor within the next week or even after my due date, but it's nice to know that my body has started to "get ready" for it all.

I also learned that my baby is posterior, which might be the reason I've had back pain the past few days. My midwife told me to get on my hands and knees to try to get her to turn the right way, and that it is especially important I get in this position if I'm having contractions, because the contractions help to turn the baby along with gravity.

It was an interesting appointment. I think the part that caught me off guard was when my midwife said, "Oh there's your baby's head!"

I just looked incredulous and asked stupidly, "You can feel that?"

"Yes. I can feel the top of her head, she's way down in your pelvis."

In a way, I was a little jealous of my midwife being able to feel my baby's head... although I do get to feel all her other little parts, like her hands and feet when they kick against the side of my belly.

Aw... flashback

2008-02-08T19:51:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! I found this old video clip of when Scott and I were dating... This was filmed in the Summer of 06 at a fireworks show...

He really did scare me good...

Hypnobirthing and Practice Labor

2008-02-08T13:29:00.000-07:00

I've been having lots of pre-labor symptoms but I have yet to go into labor. Yesterday I had regular contractions every 6 minutes for about three and a half hours. I actually started to get really excited and thought I might be going into labor. I practiced my hypnobirthing for a couple of hours and Scott even read me a couple of scripts. However, after those few hours, the contractions started to get less regular and lost intensity. I ended up falling asleep as I felt the surges get weaker and weaker.

Although I am sad that I have yet to meet my baby, I'm amazed at how well I slept last night. All those scripts and practicing my hypnobirthing got me to relax so much, I only got up once in between the time I laid down to the time I woke up, and that was at about 6 AM because I had a full bladder! It was amazing. I have never slept past midnight or 1 AM because I'm usually so uncomfortable at night.

I love being able to relax, even when I'm in the middle of contractions. I'm also really happy because I've been able to practice for when I really hit labor, and I know that even though the contractions I had yesterday weren't the real thing, I know that they were useful in further preparing my body to have a baby.

Bye, bye, Mitt

2008-02-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

Mitt dropped out of the race!

I actually would feel bad for him... if I didn't dislike him so much. But yeah... wow. I wouldn't have expected this a week ago.

All that money he spent... what a waste.

And I share some of the sentiments Jon has about Mitt's last speech:

Sheeple

2008-02-06T05:11:00.000-07:00

Here are the voting results for the Utah County Republican Primary (these were taken from CNN's website).

Romney
50,756
94%

Paul
1,820
3%

McCain
1,104
2%

Huckabee
222
1%

Giuliani
58
0%

At least Ron Paul came in second... ?

Romney's Smirk and the Polls

2008-02-05T19:32:00.001-07:00

Now he can wipe that stupid smirk of his elitist, neocon face. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah

And I agree with my hubby, Huckabee turned out to be good for something (even though I disagree with his views of cosmology, in fact I find them quite silly, and I disagree with his ideas of the role of the Bible in politics).

Anyways, I voted for Paul, not because I knew he had a chance in this forsaken state of Utah (which I know Romney will take by a landslide [there are tons of Mormons who are just as bad as bad as Evangelicals, and will vote based on religion alone]) but out of principal. Although I was tempted to just vote in the Democratic Primary, because I felt a vote for Obama would've counted more (in Utah, the Republican Primary is winner-take-all but the Democratic one hands out delegates proportionally to the amount of votes they receive).

There was quite a line when I went to the polling place. Luckily, I came informed, because I had the distinct feeling that the poll worker wouldn't have told me I could've voted in the Republican Primary if I didn't know I could. She just told me and others who were "unaffiliated" that we could vote Democrat and left it at that. I told her, "Well I heard I could just sign a form and vote Republican."

She then looked up at me, and said, "Well you'll have to fill out this form." I told her I didn't mind, so I filled out a change of party form. I handed it to her, she looked over it briefly and told me to get in the voting line.

I continued to observe the poll worker address other voters after I got in the voting line. There was a young man who looked about my age, who gave his name to this poll worker. She found his registration and said, "You're unaffiliated, so you can vote Democrat."

She then started to motion for him to get in the voting line, but the young man said, "But I would like to vote Republican."

She looked frustrated and said, "Well you'll have to change your party affiliation then."

"Okay, how do I do that?"

"You fill out one of these forms."

I really think this lady didn't want independents voting in the Republican Primary. She was probably a Romney supporter, and independents don't lean towards neocons. So I'm sure that she knew a vote from someone who was unaffiliated was a vote for either McCain or Paul. I just stood there and smiled, as I held up my form that would allow me to vote in the Republican Primary, and as I saw fellow Independents (I saw about 4 or 5) inquiring as to how they could also vote in the Republican Primary. It pleased me as I saw her get flustered and annoyed with each one, because she knew she had to help them. haha

But yeah, changing my party affiliation to Republican was slightly painful for me, because I'm really disillusioned with what the party has become. Scott told me that I should think of myself as changing myself to the Party which Republicans used to support. The TRUE Republican Party, before it was hijacked by the "religious right" and the neocons.

Ron Paul: The True Republican

2008-02-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

I found this video of a recent FOX GOP debate on youtube and I thought it really shows how Ron Paul is the only true fiscal conservative on the GOP ballot. The neocons have really taken over the party.

Ironically enough, this answer was removed from Fox's re-airing of the debate. I wonder what they're scared of?

Republicans LOVE to spend your money (on other people).

2008-02-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought the GOP could not be any more ridiculous, I read articles like this.

Honestly, what happened to fiscal conservatism?! My unborn child hasn't even taken her first breath, and she is already in a mountain of debt, just so our current administration can pursue its nation building agendas in Afghanistan and in Iraq. Taxpayers already have nearly 20 % of their income tax go directly to pay for the interest on our national debt; how much more debt do we need?! I seriously don't understand the majority of Republicans in power. Heaven forbid they spend tax payer dollars on the tax payers themselves (like the Democrats would do), but they are so willingly ready to spend billions and trillions for infrastructures in countries on the other side of the world.

In fact, Bush's new budget proposal intends to squeeze funds from Medicare and Medicaid to "save" money (even though the so called "savings" aren't nearly enough to cover the 3.1 Trillion dollars being asked of congress). What a joke. Go Bush! Make our poor and old suffer so you can keep pursuing your broken foreign policy!

Not to mention, our good old leader just gave Saudi Arabia (an unstable country which is NOT a democracy and which treats its women like second-class citizens) over 10 billion dollars in weapons and arms, and gave Israel a check for 30 BILLION dollars, while here at home, we've been worried about a recession! What a great leader!

Stephen Colbert calls out Ron Paul on his craziness...

2008-02-01T11:02:00.000-07:00

So after watching the CNN debate a couple days ago, Scott and I were talking about how the other Republicans just dismiss Ron Paul as a "nut" and don't really (or, more likely, don't pretend to) understand the FACTS that lie behind his position. CNN's Anderson Cooper also did a good job at cutting him off throughout the debate and gave the other candidates PLENTY of time to speak and Ron Paul very little time. Ironically, if Rudy were still in the running, he probably would've given Rudy more time than Paul as well, even though Paul has 6 delegates and Rudy just 1. Anyways, I just finished watching last night's Colbert Report, and I have to say, this is a clever little piece of satire that shows just how "nutty" Ron Paul really is.

Wash, wash, wash, all day long, gonna wash all day while I sing this song...

2008-01-29T14:19:00.000-07:00

I have spent the past 48 hours washing, organizing, and arranging my baby's clothes (in some great plastic drawers which were only 15 bucks at wal-mart!). I swear, it feels like I'm washing the laundry of a princess. The laundry directions varied from onesie to onesie and from blanky to blanky and from wash cloth to wash cloth:
Machine wash warm, delicate, only with like colors.
Machine wash cold, with like colors, delicate, lay flat to dry.
Machine was cold, only with like colors, tumble dry low.

So I literally had two loads for every color: green, red/pink, white, yellow, blue.

It has taken me forever!

But I finally think I have gotten all of it... I still need to buy a few things. Mostly bath and hygiene items like baby towels (not wash cloths, I have enough to open a store), a small tub, newborn diapers, a nail kit, etc. And I guess I have to get a couple undershirts for when she is born because I heard that you shouldn't dress your baby in a onesie until the umbilical cord stump falls off.

I have gotten lots of blankys, which is great, I love them all. I have two that are EXTREMELY fuzzy and soft and so cute that when I took them out of the dryer (at different times, naturally, I couldn't wash them together lol), I had a hard time putting them away before I cuddled in them myself.

And on a slightly different topic, Scott pointed out that reading the scriptures is dangerous. As can be seen by the cover of this month's Ensign:

See, apparently you need a hard hat and safety glasses to read the Word of God.

I love hobbits.

2008-01-28T20:26:00.001-07:00

So my hubby just showed me this video... and for anyone who absolutely loves LOTR, I think they will like it as much as I did.

Yeah... it's stuck in my head.

Baby Shower and Planet Earth

2008-01-28T18:42:00.000-07:00

I just had my baby shower this past Saturday, and I was so happy that so many of my friends and family showed up. I got all sorts of baby stuff, ranging from clothes, to a Boppy, to a nursing cover (mine was made by my awesome cousin-in-law), to diaper bags, baby toiletries, receiving blankets, a baby organizer, and even a pair of baby chucks! Scott was really excited about the chucks, and he said he wants to take a family picture after she is born with all of us wearing our own pair.

My Brazilian aunties even came down to visit me at home because they couldn't make it to the actual shower. It was a great day...

Unfortunately, my hubby didn't get home until midnight on Saturday... so the day would've completely rocked if it weren't for that.

:P

And yesterday, we visited grandma and grandpa and talked about BBC's Planet Earth almost the whole time we were there. For those of you who haven't seen it, I would strongly recommend it. It's basically a documentary series, and each episode covers one aspect of our biologically, and geologically diverse planet. The cinematography was amazing and the animals and environments were portrayed so beautifully and so uniquely that sometimes I would feel as if I were watching a documentary about an exotic, alien world and not my own.

New Hair!

2008-01-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

I got my hair cut!

I'm hanging out in Barnes and Noble with my 36 week 5 day pregnant belly!

I can't wait!!!

Yay my internet works! Boo that Heath died.

2008-01-23T14:10:00.000-07:00

Yay! My internet is finally working again...

Boo... I'm still really sad about the death of Heath Ledger. I wish his family the best during this time of mourning.

Ironically, if it was suicide, it coincides with this article I just read about the saddest day of the year.

I guess I'm a little weird, because I actually like this time of year. The "cloudless" gray skies and large amounts of precipitation make living in a subterranean apartment worthwhile. It's a lot cozier to be home now than in the middle of a hot summer. And maybe I'm slightly macabre, but there is also something else which intrigues me about this time of year, it's the thick dreariness one sees while looking at a colorless environment outside, nature swaddled in ice and sleep. But maybe that's just my personality. After all, my favorite American author is Poe and I love anything by Tim Burton (Sweeney Todd was awesome by the way).

Blah

How can I possibly watch a Knight's Tale now?

StatCounter.com

2008-01-20T17:35:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank my cousin-in-law for this marvelous website she told me about. It's so cool. I just registered yesterday and already I'm surprised to see who is viewing my blog and from where. I have had visitors from as far as the U.K., Australia, and Cyprus! I didn't realize that someone halfway across the world could be reading my rambling thoughts.

How exciting!

It's also amazing how often my little one gets the hiccups. It feels like my stomach and abdomen is constantly spazzing out. However, I don't think I can quite figure out how to scare them out of her. Grabbing my belly and shouting "Boo!" doesn't work. So, I'm stuck with the continued rhythmic vibrations of my baby's diaphragm, shaking up my abdomen.

The Quandaries of Fetid Patrons

2008-01-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

Today at work, I had an interesting experience. I organized my cart of books, as usual, and started to put them away. Upon reaching the 640s in non-fiction, my nostrils were assaulted by a very foul body odor. I looked down to see this slightly overweight girl, who I perceived to be a teenager with poor hygiene, sitting on the floor in the middle of the aisle. She looked very unkempt, was wearing an over sized sweatshirt, and had a stack of books next to her which she was flipping through. I tried to put a couple of books away in that aisle, but her stench was so pungent I couldn't get within 6 feet of her without having my gag reflex go off. I didn't know what to do. So I turned and left and went to the back room where I asked a fellow page, Becky, about dealing with patrons who stink.

"Well if they keep coming in and affecting the employees and other patrons, we have the director of the library talk to them and ask them to please take a shower before coming in," Becky said. "We've had that happen once before. There was a very slovenly man who used to come in and use the computers for half the day, and he smelled so bad the other patrons wouldn't use the computers next to him, but if they had no other options, and had to sit next to him, they would hold their hands or handkerchiefs over their mouths while they were on the computer. It's not like he was homeless or anything, he just wouldn't shower." She then asked me where the patron was so that she could see if they came in a lot and keep an eye (and nose for that matter) on them. I told her the odorous suspect was sitting in the 640s, and Becky went to see who it was.

I decided to put away my YA books instead of dealing with the nauseating bouquet in non-fiction. Shortly after I pushed my cart to the other section, I went to check on Becky to see if she had smelt the girl and if she was able to see who it was. I walked into the back room and saw her sitting in a chair at a desk with her back turned to me

"Becky?" I asked.

Turning, she looked at me and literally had tears in her eyes. She seemed to read the unspoken question on my face and answered it immediately, "Oh, I'm just crying because I know this girl. She was a young woman in my stake. She had a lot of family problems and I used to give her rides to church activities and to school. But she dropped out of school her senior year of high school as soon as she turned 18 and moved out of her parents house because she wasn't getting along with them at home. She had a lot of problems then. That was two years ago, and I don't know where she is living now."

"I'm so sorry... I feel kind of bad," I said. And I meant it. I felt really bad that I had to tell Becky about the stinky girl, who wasn't, in fact, a teenager, but a 20-year-old woman. Why did I happen to talk to someone who had a connection with this person? Why couldn't I have spoken with another page or clerk about the situation? Now Becky was sitting here, crying, because of my inability to shelve books without a gas mask.

"No," she continued, "It's good to know. I even said 'hi' to her when she came into the library but I didn't smell her when she came in. She didn't seem very happy, and said there were a lot of people at her house and that she couldn't read at home," Becky looked past me, her eyes seemed to go out of focus, "I wonder who she's living with now." She looked back at me. "Her mother is a real sweetheart and I'll just ask how her daughter is doing next time I talk to her."

"I'm sorry, Becky," I apologized again, not knowing what else to say.

Unfortunately, even after I put away all my YA books, I peeked into the questionable aisle to see if I would be able to finish shelving my non fiction books, but stinky girl was still sitting there, alone in the 640s, and although I feel bad that she has a crappy life, and I feel bad that I made Becky cry, there are just some things my nose and stomach muscles can't handle, so I decided to leave work early, and finish shelving tomorrow morning.

Circumcision

2008-01-17T15:13:00.000-07:00

This is an issue of which I have been thinking about a lot lately, and so I thought I'd write about it. I know some may disagree with me, but I would appreciate any opinions on the matter.

The funny thing is, growing up (and until recently), I never thought about circumcision. My little brother was circumcised, and, when I was a little kid, I just thought that all boys looked like that. I didn't realize that they could actually look any different until I was a little older and saw my little cousin, who was not circumcised, taking a bath. (Just to clarify, my mother is Brazilian and that is something they don't do over there. So I think that's why my cousin wasn't circumcised, his dad is Brazilian.) I think that's when I first learned about circumcision. Even so, the issue never made a strong impression on me. After all, I just figured it was something everybody in the USA did to their sons, so I just accepted the idea.

Until recently...

When I became pregnant, the subject of circumcision came up between my husband and I ("What if it's a boy?"). To him, it wasn't even a question. He stated that he believed our future son should be circumcised. I remember I mentioned that I didn't want to put my son through any pain, but my hubby stated that he wouldn't remember it anyways and that he didn't want our future son to look "different" from other boys and that it would be more painful for him in the long run if he weren't circumcised. Still, the more I thought about circumcision, the more I seemed to not like the idea of it, but I was still undecided on the issue.

Then, a few weeks ago, I saw something that completely made my mind on the issue. I watched a video of a routine circumcision being performed on a day-old infant. It disturbed me so much, I literally threw up in my mouth. The child looked as if he were literally being tortured. I couldn't imagine how traumatic it must be, to be in a warm dark, comfortable womb for nine months, be born, and be taken and stretched out and tied down (which is really uncomfortable for newborns because they're not used to being stretched out) and then have a piece of the most sensitive part of his body scraped and cut off. All these questions began to swirl around me, "Why do parents perform this procedure?" "Is it really necessary?" "What would happen if the boy doesn't get circumcised?" I was literally relieved that we were having a baby girl and not a boy, so I wouldn't have to make that choice, and because of Scott's position on the matter. There was no way that as a mother, I could sit by and watch my son be tortured for the superficial argument that "that's how everyone does it."

So then I began to do some research on the reasons behind circumcision. I had heard before that circumcised penises were "cleaner." But as I learned more about the issue, I discovered this was a mere myth, as intact penises could be easily cleaned in the shower in a mere matter of seconds. In fact, it is more tedious for girls to clean themselves in their "nether regions" than it is for an intact male to do so. And yet, we don't amputate little girl's labias when they are born, that would just be barbaric. And, personally as a woman, I would rather treat and heal a yeast infection than have a part of me amputated! And it's not as if the foreskin is "just a little extra skin." There are numerous functions (click here) it provides, not to mention all the nerve endings in there.

And here is my religious tangent....

I also think about the fact that man is created in "God's own image." So is there a flaw in a man who fully represents the "image of God"? Circumcision is an ancient Jewish custom. It was done to show a covenant with God. And as someone who believes in the New Testament, didn't Christ come and get rid of the Mosaic Law? In fact, in Acts, Paul preaches against the circumcising of children. And from an LDS perspective, the verse in Moroni 8:8 says it all:

Listen to the words of Christ, your Redeemer, your Lord and your God. Behold, I came into the world not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance; the whole need no physician, but they that are sick; wherefore, little children are whole, for they are not capable of committing sin; wherefore the curse of Adam is taken from them in me, that it hath no power over them; and the law of circumcision is done away in me.

Joseph Smith also reiterates the fact that little children are holy and not "unholy," as was the belief among ancient Jews of uncircumcised children, in D&C 74.

So, now that religion is out of the way, what about the perceived "health benefits" of circumcising a newborn infant? I find it amusing that in a lot of the literature I have read about pregnancy and birth, the books try to remain "unbiased" by stating that although routine infant circumcision isn't recommended, there have been studies which show that circumcised infants have a less of a chance of developing a UTI (urinary tract infection) in the first year of life. But a lot of these books won't tell you what the exact numbers on the study are. So, I found out.

An intact, infant baby boy, has less than a 1% chance of developing a UTI in the first year of life, and a circumcised male has even less of a chance.
I'm sorry, but less than 1% is not enough for me to want to take a pre-emptive strike against my son's penis. He also might need a tonsillectomy or need his appendix removed later in his life, but you would never hear of a physician to recommend these procedures on a healthy, newborn infant, just because "he might get sick." Besides, UTIs are easily treatable with antibiotics.

Parents may also think that it would be harder for them to keep their baby's intact penis clean, but it really is no different than keeping a circumcised baby's penis clean. You just wipe the outside of the penis, and then you're done. Parent's should not try to clean beneath a baby's foreskin! A newborn's penis is not fully developed, therefore, the BABY'S FORESKIN DOES NOT RETRACT. In fact, many American doctors who were or are ignorant of taking care of a whole penis, mistakenly tell parents to retract their infant son's foreskin to clean underneath. Forcefully trying to pull back a baby's foreskin will damage the baby's penis because the foreskin is still attached to the glans by a membrane. Because of ignorant doctors and parents, many well-intentioned parents tried to clean their son's penises but inadvertently harmed their sons by trying to "clean" under the foreskin, this led to infections and ultimately some parents decided to just have their son circumcised because of all the complications they themselves caused. A boy's foreskin will not retract until he's about 4 or 5 years old, but some foreskins don't retract all the way until puberty. And when the skin is retractable, a parent should teach their son that they need to clean underneath the foreskin. If parents can teach their kids how to brush their teeth, and if parents can teach their little girls how to clean themselves "down there" when they take a shower and teach girls to wipe "front to back," then parents can teach their sons to clean under their foreskin when they take a shower. I mean, is it really hard to convince a boy to touch his penis in the shower? haha

And then there's the whole, well-it's-just-more-attractive-argument. I'm sorry, but since when is a penis "attractive" to begin with?! I'm not even going to go in to how unattractive I find female genitalia to be, let alone penises. Women in this country have convinced themselves that intact males are "gross" because they're not used to seeing intact penises, and men who were circumcised as infants don't know what it's like to be intact, so the thought of it may be weird to them. What I'm trying to say is that circumcision is really a cultural preference. But I mean come on, are we that shallow in this country that we need to perform cosmetic surgery on our perfectly healthy, infant sons, without their consent, just because we think it "looks better"? Perhaps we should start paying for and encouraging our teenage daughters to start getting boob jobs because most men in this country like big breasts. And, I'm sorry, but a woman, who doesn't want to be in a relationship with a man because of whether or not he was circumcised, is just superficial and shallow in my book. There is more to a relationship than how a penis "looks." There is nothing wrong with a male body the way nature intended it, nothing.

Which brings me to my last point regarding circumcision. Parents choose to do it because they don't want their son to look any different from other boys or to get teased in the locker room. First of all, let me just state that when you look at the entire male population in the world, circumcised men are in the minority. In fact, the US is still the only industrialized country in the world to perform as many circumcisions as it does. Routine infant circumcision for non-religious reasons isn't custom AT ALL in Europe (Which makes you wonder the validity of some claims that circumcision reduces the risk of HIV and AIDS, when the US has higher rates of HIV than Europe. The key to not getting an STD is not circumcision, it's called a condom and not being promiscuous.) Secondly, circumcision is becoming less and less common in the United States. Circumcision on US-born-infants is between 55 and 60 %. So really, a boy being left intact today wouldn't be in the "minority" when he's in high school. The ratio will be about half and half.

Since reading up on this issue, I've talked some more with my husband about it, and I believe he can see why I feel the way I do. However, I understand this is a touchy issue with a lot of people. So I would ask ANYONE considering circumcision to read up on the issue as much as you can, for yourself, and make an informed choice. Don't feel pressured by family or tradition to make that choice for you and for your son. Remember, circumcision is SURGERY, and it has risks. But I will say, I am vehemently against cutting off healthy body parts of my future son, and I am not afraid to share why (as per the book I just wrote). I believe the supposed potential "benefits" of circumcision just don't merit the surgical procedure.

Circumcision Links and Articles:

American Academy of Pediatrics: Circumcision Policy Statement
Kid's Health: Circumcision
Circumcision - Risks (WebMD)
Circumcision Resource Center
why empowered women choose not to circumcise
CIRP (Circumcision Information and Resource Pages)
What happens during circumcision? (CIRP)

Ok... weird

2008-01-16T18:34:00.000-07:00

So I called upstairs and no one answered.... so then I called my landlord. I told her it was freezing in here and that I didn't think anyone was home upstairs. She said that she was sorry and that she would take care of it.

About ten minutes later, I heard the doorbell ring upstairs... then nothing.... then I heard it ring a second time.... still nothing. I figured it was the landlord and that she was trying to see if anyone was home. She ended up letting herself in and, shortly after, I felt the heater come on.

The landlord then came to visit me and told me that the heater was turned down to below 60! It's 10 degrees outside! And that's not an exaggeration! I have no idea what is up with the upstairs people but that's just weird, because first of all, we don't pay utilities, so you would think that they would leave the heater on all the time, and secondly, ALL THE LIGHTS WERE ON upstairs, so it's not like they were trying to conserve energy or anything. Anyways... she said that she didn't dare peek into the bedroom to see if the husband was home. She asked me if I heard anyone moving around upstairs, and I told her no, because I hadn't. I also told her that I figured that no one was home because the car was gone, but the landlord said that didn't mean the husband wasn't home because he took the bus and his wife took the car. I told her once again that I didn't think anyone was home... but she didn't seem convinced. Well she left a little while ago... and low and behold, just a few minutes ago, I heard someone walking around up there.... So I think that the husband has been home this entire time!

Weird!

Who turns the heat off in the middle of January, in below freezing temperatures, leaves all the lights on, and ignores the phone and the front door?!

Brrr...

2008-01-16T17:11:00.001-07:00

Okay... Why is it that the upstairs neighbors forget that they aren't the ONLY ones living in this house? When they are gone, they turn off the heat, in the middle of January, with blistering winds and snow drifts outside! It's freezing in this basement! My hands are seriously turning blue. I can't function right now. I can't even get the energy to clean or do anything but sit here and tremble and eat Moose Munch... which I've been craving like crazy.

Ew.... I just pulled out a nut that is shaped like an alien embryo. Gross...

Birth Plan Part 2

2008-01-16T16:29:00.001-07:00

I took my birth plan to my appointment today, and my midwife read through it and said it was really good and that I should bring in multiple copies to the hospital when I go in to give birth. She also told me that the midwives do not perform routine episiotomies... which was so exciting for me! I love my midwives. I really liked the one I saw today... hopefully I'll have her when I go into labor, however, all the women on staff are so helpful and caring, I will feel comfortable with any of them!

But I was really glad I brought in my birthing plan too because there was a nursing student who sat in on my appointment and she didn't know what hypnobirthing was so I (with the help of my midwife) got to explain it to her. I told the student that I hoped I wasn't sounding "hokey" or anything, when explaining the hypnobirthing method, but she just said, "No! It makes a lot of sense!" Relaxation techniques are really the most logical thing to learn about when a woman is preparing for labor!

It reminded me of the fact that there was also a young woman in my hypnobirthing class who was also a nursing student. I really think it's catching on!

Birthdays

2008-01-15T15:08:00.000-07:00

Today I can't help but think of my daughter's birthday-to-be. So today, I wrote my birthing plan. I would appreciate any input, comments, or suggestions!

To Those Medical Personnel Who Will Be Attending My Labor and Delivery:

I’m a first-time, hypnobirthing mom, and I’d appreciate any consideration and thoughtfulness in working with me and with this birth plan. I understand that I am nowhere as experienced and knowledgeable as the hospital’s nursing staff when it comes to labor and delivery, but there are a few things which I would like to work for in my own personal labor and delivery experience.

I am looking forward to a natural, drug free birth. When dealing with labor pains, my husband and I will be working together on relaxation scripts, massage techniques, and alternating labor positions (some with and some without a birthing ball), so I would appreciate it if no pain medications were offered to me unless I ask for them. Also, I would prefer a labor and delivery room with access to a tub (if you have one available) so as to help with any discomfort brought on by labor.

Also, I would like my labor to progress at a natural pace, and I would prefer to not be put on Pitocin or have my membranes ruptured artificially because of not “progressing” fast enough. I understand there are special circumstances on some occasions which call for using this drug and/or procedure, however, if myself and my baby are doing fine and not in a critical situation, I would like to let my body work at its own natural pace and to deliver on its own schedule.

Since I will be trying different labor positions, and possibly getting in and out of a tub, I would like to have as much mobility as possible. So I would ask to have my baby monitored externally and for as little time as necessary. Also, I would greatly appreciate that vaginal exams would be kept to a minimum.

It is my wish that I do not have an episiotomy performed on me unless the health of the baby is at stake. Regardless, I prefer receiving a few small tears as opposed to a large surgical cut. To reduce the risk of tearing, I would like a hot compress applied to my perineum when the baby is crowning.

When my baby is born, I would like it if she were placed immediately upon my abdomen, or, if the umbilical cord is long enough, on my chest. I also would prefer if the umbilical cord weren’t clamped nor cut until it has stopped pulsing.

I hope to breastfeed my child shortly after birth, and I would appreciate it if no bottles or pacifiers are given to her so as not to confuse her.

Thank you for your time and consideration in reviewing my birth plan. Please know that I understand that this plan is what I would like to happen in an “ideal” labor and delivery, I do not consider this a list of rules of “dos and don’ts.”

Sincerely,

L